I bought a genuine WW2 German helmet

Autobiographical, politics and religion

So what has happened since I last wrote? Not much to be honest apart from A work colleague lost his rag at me when I told him counting numbers on doors was not my thing. He has difficulty understanding or perhaps appreciating that not everyone is interested in the same stuff as he is, he is full of hot air with no release valve . I on the other hand have several ways of dealing with my varying emotional states and I am happy to say they all work. he also does not like being told that I do not care for anything of what he thinks, especially when it involves myself, he has been told this to his face and he had a tantrum as a result. Otherwise I have a nice bruise from training above my knee and a thumb that does not work (ligaments busted) It made up for dodging the work Xmas party.

As the title suggests I bought a WW2 vintage German (some may say Nazi) steel helmet, Erica the mannequin is kindly modelling it.

Erika the mannequin

The universe has blessed me with a new friend, we have been speaking on and off for the last few months and only recently have we sat down and made proper conversation together. She is nice, interesting, creative and several other things all positive I might add, we may even step out sometime and go eat tea and cake together, visit galleries, museums the universe will guide us I am sure to the places that suit us the best. It would also seem she likes Pink Floyd and that spells good in any language. I may introduce her to the blog sometime, but that will depend on other people in the meantime I shall refer to her as J. This makes it confusing I know as there already is another J involved here, but don’t worry about that Other J is in the US and is doing well, she has had good news of recent though that is also tinged with sadness. Sometimes I would like to wrap my arms around her but my arms just ain’t long enough to do that and I have to do things with words instead. Words are good and can be used in a thousand different ways, speak to my work colleague if you want to know how to speak shit, speak to me if you want to hear about history and why its important that we continue to study the subject, continue unravelling the historical record and not destroying statues that are part of our legacy, bulldozing Auschwitz/ Birkenau will not make it go away, or erase the fact nor will dumping a statue of a slave trader in the harbour.

That BLM shit really gets my goat, black washing everything into non-existence it is left wing socialist creation to further side line and disown the past into nothingness and as a historian I cannot abide or tolerate this in any way, shape or form it is plain wrong. Rather people ought be educated as to what happened and gently reminded slavery has been rife across Africa and the world for that matter since day one, white Europeans just took advantage of a line of business already in existence and whoever engaged in such business was simply a product of the age in which they lived, it does not or did not make them a bad person, much the same as Mark Zuckerburg got the idea to create his product, he saw an opening and made loads of people slaves to his project. Will he be demonised one day? Probably, perhaps he already is.

imagery and news stories of the rock band Pink Floyd
Using a central image of Syd Barret surrounded by the images of the other band members and newsprint stories, providing a pictorial essay of the rock band Pink Floyd from their beginnings up to the present

THE OLD MAN AND THE SEMEN (with apologies to (Ernest Hemingway)

Autobiographical

We have many colourful and varied people in the wonderful place where I work, some of them if not all of them have I am sure a story or two to tell as to how they wound up in such a drab and uninspiring place. Some of the residents have beards, some do not. Amongst the bearded ones is an old man who has a collection of gentlemen’s interest magazines magazines strewn across his floor. He also has a wide selection of newspaper images which supplement his magazine collection, most of not all of these pictures are stained, the same system is employed in his toilet, again the images he employs have stains all over them. I like to think they are spilt tea, however any half baked fool can tell they are not. The scene is reminiscent of teenage boys bedroom, except these days, those images are more likely to be on a computer and not on the floor. It is my happy task to clean rooms like this and last week it was decided it was to cluttered and messy to move there and we had to speak to management regarding the situation at hand. The magazine owner was naturally upset to hear we wanted to tidy his room and much protest was made as to our throwing his stuff out which had ‘great sentimental value attached to it’ At times like this it is hard not to laugh, so I bit my lip a little instead. Hopefully his room will be more accessible next time but I am not placing any bets on that being the case.

I have not written for a while due to several things, the most recent of which has been a stinking cold, which is finally leaving me, the last traces of it are at least. I just have a troublesome nose to contend with instead. There have been other factors involved too, mostly lack of motivation or doing something else. It would be nice to write more, more often so don’t be surprised if this does not happen and likewise don’t be too surprised if it does. Like model making, school work, painting, reading, gardening and work itself I have to prioritise my work load and it does not follow in that order. Some times I am even compelled to turn my phone off so I do not have to answer it, some people I know can talk for bloody hours about rubbish and I find it boring. The same people also like to complain about things not going their way too. They ought to pee off and find a counsellor dealing in financial anxiety, again that person is not me. J of whom I have written plenty in the past is well and managing her stuff pretty well, she wants to move back to Ithaca NY in some ways I don’t blame her, her current abode sounds a bit tiresome and she yearns for a place she can call home.

What else? I am now the proud owner of a shop mannequin, I am not sure why I bought it but the idea seemed quite novel, it can be sold again quite easily ( I am sure) and plenty of fun can be had with it in the mean time. It would look quite menacing dressed in lingerie with a leather cap and a whip, right now it looks quite harmless in a polka dot blouse, a denim skirt and bobble hat the black tights ensure it does not cold and maintain its modesty. it has yet to be assigned a gender or indeed a name but I suspect something female, seeing it is configured that way with breasts, hips etc. It would be very odd to call it Harold or Arthur, though in this day and age…

I hope to publish something more in the next couple of days

A woman with long dark haired in black leather elbow length gloves and ditto fetish gear kneeling on a bed of straw. she has her hands on her hips in a suggestive and wilful pose
A woman with long dark haired in black leather elbow length gloves and ditto fetish gear kneeling on a bed of straw. she has her hands on her hips in a suggestive and wilful pose

MINGING, GOPPING, HANGING, LEAPING

Autobiographical

My new means of providing sustenance, shelter and material enjoyment is quite taxing, the place is kept warm, too warm. As a result I sweat like a beast in the mating season, I am damp with sweat, sometimes wet from Start to Finish every day. I must stink like nobodies business, the poor people who have to smell me. Twice this this week I have been forced onto public transport, due to either an unwillingness to sit in massive petrol queues, at least twenty cars long each with their mandatory social distancing in force, or the weather which wants to empty itself over me. I hate cycling in the wet, with my need for glasses only compounding that misery. Happily I got a decent sized amount of fuel just this evening, the queue was very small and only in the forecourt itself. Not half way up the bypass and buggering everything up as a result.

I criticised a man at the supermarket on the same journey, he had a several large trays of sickly looking Donuts telling him his rash behaviour would cause a national Donut shortage, people laughed. I have to watch my sense of humour, some people become aggrieved by it, mentioning things like the Spanish Armada or the Battle of Trafalgar to the Spanish. I just deleted a small chunk it did not fit and was irrelevant.

All in all I like my new and sometimes smelly new means of providing for my self, I try not to be too cynical about the people who live there, if not themselves, it is the system that has failed them. I am grateful for the steel toe boots I wear, I would hate to be wearing soft shoes in many of the places I tread. I regard each and every room as a potential health hazard, some of them more than others. Above all my empathy for other people has become more sensitive, yet at the same time more cynical. I like my place of work many many times more than that supermarket shop I worked in a few years ago. They used to put books in the fridges in that place and shit ran down the back wall from the turd lasagne’s in the men’s staff toilets. The toilets where I work are the cleanest in the whole damned city and I bet the county. I love cleaning toilets.

Cats, Covid and Ship Breaking

Uncategorized

Now almost recovered from the cat bite, except it itches and the bruising is still prominent, everything is pretty good. We have tidied up J’s room a bit, and she now has a pleasant space in which to rest and do her stuff. She is being required to do a self Covid test which involves sticking a something up her nose and then tickling her tonsils, the whole idea gives me the creeps, J feels the same. She has had a lot on her plate of recent and is pretty stressed, so we are going to take each other for a walk out today and enjoy the sunshine for a while. J does not like the Covid testing thing, she gagged loads and thinks it is awful.

Covid aside, the sun is out today after early rain and Lulu the cat is sunbathing on the windowsill in front of me. Life must be grand being a cat, a life of almost indescribable laziness having staff at your beck and call answering to your every Meeow and spending almost your entire day asleep. The life of a cat sounds good, they even get to bite people and get away with it. (Sometimes) The Grey cat has been lucky so far, I have only chased and shouted at it so far having been handicapped by lack of shoes and missiles, it watched me with contempt and a little trepidation and climbed over the fence into next door.

I think I will be doing some more school work this afternoon, studying filth, disease and general nastiness and death in Victorian England. You can almost smell the stinks being described as you read the words. I will try not to complain about the sewage works again. (though they really stink) Ship breaking looks an awful trade and is highly dangerous, I know this cause I spent a couple of hours watching docs on it. Though it does look exciting and probably beats working in a supermarket. Anything beats working in a supermarket, apart from being a sewerage inspector maybe. I am glad and happy to be an artist and blogger, though a little bit of me, still wants to visit a ship breaking yard.

Procrastination

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

This morning has been spent painting, eating and drinking Coffee, I have only come upstairs to plug the laptop in… And procrastinate. That is the trouble when there are distractions around the place and you are feeling off, with little to motivate, or propel you in any real direction. Perhaps I ought to leave the machine here and go back to painting, at least I would be occupied fruitfully or how about the garden? Either way I should stop worrying about where those commas ought go, this is not an examination and I can check things before posting. Keeping one ear (literally in my case) open for the door is also on my mind, you may be asking one ear? Yes I only have one ear, the other is broken.

A copy of this book was once gifted me for my birthday, I still think family were taking the Mick.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is image.jpeg

Anyway I always enjoyed the Tintin books and at one point had the whole lot of them barring Tintin in the Congo. Which was almost impossible to get because it had been banned due to it’s politically incorrect content. I am going to pull some socks on soon and do something else other than writing, cause I am still heel dragging and get the idea I need a change of scenery.

Despite my calling and emails I have not yet received any new information regarding that pesky job interview which is set for tomorrow. perhaps I ought to look for a job as an art teacher somewhere, I think I might enjoy doing that. Even better of course, would be painting for a living, artists are an under appreciated lot and are often taken for granted. Just try living your day without the writers, set designers, authors, game designers, painters and anybody else who creates for a living.

I do take commissions, work in a variety of media and specialise in portraiture and landscapes.

Uncategorized

 

I wanted to write last night, but something got in the way. So tonight I write instead, though what I write about has nothing or everything to do with what I started writing, which can wait for a rainy day. That subject is too technical and drawn out and to be honest, I feel a little tired and so shall give it a miss. Though I may write some but not publish it, yet.

Today has been a day of smearing, scraping and more smearing, the back room is quickly becoming a bare walled room with an all pervading stench of paint stripper.

last night today, i thought about doing some painting, it is not the time yet or I am not ready. Either way I must be patient and wait for the right time, creativity comes in many forms. My hands are calloused I cannot complain, my finger joints are sore, I am happy.

The other thing I started upon was and is entitled The Ten Commandments, it was already in progress and needs to be completed though shall most likely be done in several pieces, over a period of time, how long, who knows as long as it takes. Life is not a race, neither is decorating a back room or dare I say it digging a hole for a pond or completing any task. Stop making yourselves sick, rushing around as if everything as to be done yesterday, relax, breathe and smile, enjoy the moment and smile.

The race has not been run yet and there are still a few miles to go.

 

WORK IN PROGRESS

Uncategorized

One of the things about being an artist is that you may well find yourself at times with a pile of work that is incomplete which is known as (WIP) This can be something that is sat on the easel or tucked away behind the cupboard drying out, awaiting some more work. if you are working in oils then it is more of the drying out, which can often take ages. Sometimes a piece just sits there for ages and gets treated like some tiresome task that is always being put off.

Sometimes this tardiness is mistaken for procrastination when it is in fact lack of motivation, a difficulty in getting started and needing a break from that god awful chair downstairs that belongs in a torture museum, it is so uncomfortable even the cats ignore it. actually the chair is only part of the equation, I suspect there is a change in direction in the offing, involving greater preparation and better draughtsmanship. Learning how to draw noses.

The garden and pond site are also in need of attention as is the cloakroom which gets done when the weather is really wet, the pond can only be done properly when the bottom has dried out properly and stops being squelchy, squelchy bottoms do not make for stable solid platforms upon which to work.

 

Taking good care of yourself is a good idea

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

I have not been looking after myself of recent, Tonight’s training proved that. Normally I have a high pain threshold,tonight even small blows were agony and halted me in my tracks, I had to stop and surrender to resting and being honest with myself.  I have not been sleeping either waking up at ridiculously early times with only 4-5 hours sleep and not being able to go back to sleep. Sometimes I do not sleep at all, or it seems that way.

TBH I have been drinking a little too much of recent without any let up, apart from at work. Today I have had (and still have) the worlds worst hangover. I wake up feeling stiff and sore and my left hand side is wracked with pain when I awaken. I do not want sympathy, I need TLC and plenty of personal care.

I am glad I have found the space to do some writing, as I cannot paint at the moment, maybe from the alcohol or is it the time of year and it all just pisses me off. Xmas is never the best time for me. The whole thing pee’s me off. Probably the lack of sunshine. Maybe a combination of different factors. I ought to perhaps get out and do some gardening, rake up the leaves and get some fresh air in my lungs,having spent more than enough time indoors and very little out of may well be a factor.

In other things, I still have a job. (miracle) And I have gained a little more weight. ( The garden will help deal with that) Today I tidied up the spare room and rigged up the old desktop PC as a backup for the laptop. I shall be posting some artwork soon. A friend of mine recently died, at least she is free from pain and suffering now.

Jesus was a black man

Uncategorized

It is nearly the second week in my new career. I can at least say I am happier than I have been in a long time. Did I say that last time? So what if I did. I managed to drill though a pipe today. (Again)  and to top it all the hedge cutter blew up, it gave out a big bang like crack a shot of electric light and the smell of smoke. I think it is now broken.

I miss not being at work, but am enjoying the warm weather and  have been doing stuff about the garden. J is doing well, this makes me a lot happier and puts a lot of stresses to bed. I can at least sleep peacefully,even if I do need to get up at some unearthly hour to pee, I am at least sleeping properly.

FOR ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO THINK HE IS A WHITE MAN

perhaps I am drinking a little bit to much right now, but a lot less than I used to, Should I drink more tea. The administrator in the office is married to my manager.  They are both nice people and I have bruises from training.

Jesus was a black man, anything else is ridiculous.

To bury the dead is one of the corporal acts of mercy.

 

And from this day forward…

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

After 25+ years in a career that drove me up the wall and created such discord and unhappiness, that death would have been a pleasant alternative. (How Ironic) I have started out on a new career.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life and the first day of a career that I hope will see me through and past retirement and into the next life itself. Though that last bit will be someone else’s task. Today was spent, reading, learning  and re-reading material and meeting and speaking to nice kind hearted people from whom you can see their inner light shining brighter than the noon day sun.

It takes all sorts to perform the role I have chosen as my end profession. Many stories , many  reasons. all united by one common factor. To serve. And as Bob Dylan wrote:

“you gotta serve somebody.”

It is what is known as an honourable profession. And after years of going from pillar to post with a thousand dead ends, I have now found the way to the final RV.

I am lucky in having a very supportive fiance. She says she likes a man in uniform, though I will never be a Policeman and am too old for the army. Instead I now wear a dark suit and tie. I must remember to polish my shoes.