Now almost recovered from the cat bite, except it itches and the bruising is still prominent, everything is pretty good. We have tidied up J’s room a bit, and she now has a pleasant space in which to rest and do her stuff. She is being required to do a self Covid test which involves sticking a something up her nose and then tickling her tonsils, the whole idea gives me the creeps, J feels the same. She has had a lot on her plate of recent and is pretty stressed, so we are going to take each other for a walk out today and enjoy the sunshine for a while. J does not like the Covid testing thing, she gagged loads and thinks it is awful.
Covid aside, the sun is out today after early rain and Lulu the cat is sunbathing on the windowsill in front of me. Life must be grand being a cat, a life of almost indescribable laziness having staff at your beck and call answering to your every Meeow and spending almost your entire day asleep. The life of a cat sounds good, they even get to bite people and get away with it. (Sometimes) The Grey cat has been lucky so far, I have only chased and shouted at it so far having been handicapped by lack of shoes and missiles, it watched me with contempt and a little trepidation and climbed over the fence into next door.
I think I will be doing some more school work this afternoon, studying filth, disease and general nastiness and death in Victorian England. You can almost smell the stinks being described as you read the words. I will try not to complain about the sewage works again. (though they really stink) Ship breaking looks an awful trade and is highly dangerous, I know this cause I spent a couple of hours watching docs on it. Though it does look exciting and probably beats working in a supermarket. Anything beats working in a supermarket, apart from being a sewerage inspector maybe. I am glad and happy to be an artist and blogger, though a little bit of me, still wants to visit a ship breaking yard.
This morning has been spent painting, eating and drinking Coffee, I have only come upstairs to plug the laptop in… And procrastinate. That is the trouble when there are distractions around the place and you are feeling off, with little to motivate, or propel you in any real direction. Perhaps I ought to leave the machine here and go back to painting, at least I would be occupied fruitfully or how about the garden? Either way I should stop worrying about where those commas ought go, this is not an examination and I can check things before posting. Keeping one ear (literally in my case) open for the door is also on my mind, you may be asking one ear? Yes I only have one ear, the other is broken.
A copy of this book was once gifted me for my birthday, I still think family were taking the Mick.
Anyway I always enjoyed the Tintin books and at one point had the whole lot of them barring Tintin in the Congo. Which was almost impossible to get because it had been banned due to it’s politically incorrect content. I am going to pull some socks on soon and do something else other than writing, cause I am still heel dragging and get the idea I need a change of scenery.
Despite my calling and emails I have not yet received any new information regarding that pesky job interview which is set for tomorrow. perhaps I ought to look for a job as an art teacher somewhere, I think I might enjoy doing that. Even better of course, would be painting for a living, artists are an under appreciated lot and are often taken for granted. Just try living your day without the writers, set designers, authors, game designers, painters and anybody else who creates for a living.
I do take commissions, work in a variety of media and specialise in portraiture and landscapes.
I wanted to write last night, but something got in the way. So tonight I write instead, though what I write about has nothing or everything to do with what I started writing, which can wait for a rainy day. That subject is too technical and drawn out and to be honest, I feel a little tired and so shall give it a miss. Though I may write some but not publish it, yet.
Today has been a day of smearing, scraping and more smearing, the back room is quickly becoming a bare walled room with an all pervading stench of paint stripper.
last night today, i thought about doing some painting, it is not the time yet or I am not ready. Either way I must be patient and wait for the right time, creativity comes in many forms. My hands are calloused I cannot complain, my finger joints are sore, I am happy.
The other thing I started upon was and is entitled The Ten Commandments, it was already in progress and needs to be completed though shall most likely be done in several pieces, over a period of time, how long, who knows as long as it takes. Life is not a race, neither is decorating a back room or dare I say it digging a hole for a pond or completing any task. Stop making yourselves sick, rushing around as if everything as to be done yesterday, relax, breathe and smile, enjoy the moment and smile.
The race has not been run yet and there are still a few miles to go.
One of the things about being an artist is that you may well find yourself at times with a pile of work that is incomplete which is known as (WIP) This can be something that is sat on the easel or tucked away behind the cupboard drying out, awaiting some more work. if you are working in oils then it is more of the drying out, which can often take ages. Sometimes a piece just sits there for ages and gets treated like some tiresome task that is always being put off.
Sometimes this tardiness is mistaken for procrastination when it is in fact lack of motivation, a difficulty in getting started and needing a break from that god awful chair downstairs that belongs in a torture museum, it is so uncomfortable even the cats ignore it. actually the chair is only part of the equation, I suspect there is a change in direction in the offing, involving greater preparation and better draughtsmanship. Learning how to draw noses.
The garden and pond site are also in need of attention as is the cloakroom which gets done when the weather is really wet, the pond can only be done properly when the bottom has dried out properly and stops being squelchy, squelchy bottoms do not make for stable solid platforms upon which to work.
I have not been looking after myself of recent, Tonight’s training proved that. Normally I have a high pain threshold,tonight even small blows were agony and halted me in my tracks, I had to stop and surrender to resting and being honest with myself. I have not been sleeping either waking up at ridiculously early times with only 4-5 hours sleep and not being able to go back to sleep. Sometimes I do not sleep at all, or it seems that way.
TBH I have been drinking a little too much of recent without any let up, apart from at work. Today I have had (and still have) the worlds worst hangover. I wake up feeling stiff and sore and my left hand side is wracked with pain when I awaken. I do not want sympathy, I need TLC and plenty of personal care.
I am glad I have found the space to do some writing, as I cannot paint at the moment, maybe from the alcohol or is it the time of year and it all just pisses me off. Xmas is never the best time for me. The whole thing pee’s me off. Probably the lack of sunshine. Maybe a combination of different factors. I ought to perhaps get out and do some gardening, rake up the leaves and get some fresh air in my lungs,having spent more than enough time indoors and very little out of may well be a factor.
In other things, I still have a job. (miracle) And I have gained a little more weight. ( The garden will help deal with that) Today I tidied up the spare room and rigged up the old desktop PC as a backup for the laptop. I shall be posting some artwork soon. A friend of mine recently died, at least she is free from pain and suffering now.
It is nearly the second week in my new career. I can at least say I am happier than I have been in a long time. Did I say that last time? So what if I did. I managed to drill though a pipe today. (Again) and to top it all the hedge cutter blew up, it gave out a big bang like crack a shot of electric light and the smell of smoke. I think it is now broken.
I miss not being at work, but am enjoying the warm weather and have been doing stuff about the garden. J is doing well, this makes me a lot happier and puts a lot of stresses to bed. I can at least sleep peacefully,even if I do need to get up at some unearthly hour to pee, I am at least sleeping properly.
perhaps I am drinking a little bit to much right now, but a lot less than I used to, Should I drink more tea. The administrator in the office is married to my manager. They are both nice people and I have bruises from training.
Jesus was a black man, anything else is ridiculous.
To bury the dead is one of the corporal acts of mercy.
After 25+ years in a career that drove me up the wall and created such discord and unhappiness, that death would have been a pleasant alternative. (How Ironic) I have started out on a new career.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life and the first day of a career that I hope will see me through and past retirement and into the next life itself. Though that last bit will be someone else’s task. Today was spent, reading, learning and re-reading material and meeting and speaking to nice kind hearted people from whom you can see their inner light shining brighter than the noon day sun.
It takes all sorts to perform the role I have chosen as my end profession. Many stories , many reasons. all united by one common factor. To serve. And as Bob Dylan wrote:
“you gotta serve somebody.”
It is what is known as an honourable profession. And after years of going from pillar to post with a thousand dead ends, I have now found the way to the final RV.
I am lucky in having a very supportive fiance. She says she likes a man in uniform, though I will never be a Policeman and am too old for the army. Instead I now wear a dark suit and tie. I must remember to polish my shoes.