I closed a web account today, I thought that it no longer served my purposes, or was otherwise not part of my current vibration. Sorry to sound pretentious, but that was the word on my lips (fingers) So that is what I typed. Upon further thinking, that web site does address my current needs, but due to various things, including self doubt, anxiety and disagreeing with some of the content used on that site. Plus uncertainty over the username, increasing angst and forgetting that maxim about making decisions, whilst under emotional instability, I killed my relationship with something, that had not been part of me for any serious length of time.
I have recently revisited another website with whom I distanced myself. What for do I hope to think it may ne different this time. Yes I do, but there again I think what’s the point? How long will it last? Or I repeating myself, I fully acknowledge, that yes I am. To hell with it, so what, fuck it and so what.
I shall do further decision making, based upon sound and sober judgement. I shall also look forward to writing earlier in the day and not just before I am planning to go to bed.
I love J she reminds and encourages me to do my schoolwork, makes breakfast sits down for a little while and goes back to bed. Leaving me to get on write and at get down a load of ideas that I can boil down into something that answers the questions posed, this is not part of that plan. We went down into the local park yesterday and had a kick around in the sunshine, later on I made more home brew, this time a bunch of Parsnips have fallen in the pot with yeast and the rest to be added later today.
The sun is shining, the cats are asleep and my breakfast is slowly being consumed, the Apple and Banana bread adding their goodness to my constant need for sustenance. Imagining a life without the need for food is an interesting idea and is indeed possible, if one is willing to make those sacrifices. Like stopping the reliance on animal based products, especially those of meat and dairy. If we stop the killing and systematic abuse of animals, then we may as a race stop abusing and killing each other. If you want to change the world, then start with yourself, be the change you wish to see in the universe. Actually the cats are outside now, if they are asleep or not I do not know, as they are out of eyeshot. J has reappeared and is drinking more Coffee.
School work is now taking a back burner and shall restart in the morning, J shall encourage that, it helps that I WANT to keep it under control and stay ahead of things that being the way I started out and how I mean to continue. J is scrolling through Facebook, I just had a look through myself not much else. I thought it was cold earlier, my feet especially so, it helps to put socks and a vest on, this way we can be warmer without putting the heating on. I shall be posting some more artwork later on and hopefully be adding new work to the rest of the site when time permits.
So am finally settling down to having another human in the house, things like having a whole bed/duvet to myself are gone. I have swapped them for snoring, occasional farting and cooking for two, I have never been happier. There are now two people to fuss over the cats, fresh bread is back on the menu as is a largely vegan diet. I think we are actually both very happy, though to be sure I have to check with J first.
What else? days out in the local area, nice walks in the park, doing the washing up and asserting one’s rights over who can brush their teeth first in the evening before bed time. I think these little things are and will become pretty permanent fixtures in our life together. The cats can do the fighting and arguing instead.
Other news, have been doing a lot of painting these last few days and ought work on here more often, activity seems to have shifted from evenings to day time and pm’s are now spent on a comfy sofa watching movies and other relaxing stuff. We were going to go for another walk today with our recently acquired football, however the skies are a nasty dark grey, J wants to stay home and make Banana bread. Who am I to complain?