Action Man is as hard as

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

When I was a youngster, I had an Action Man toy, who’s limbs could be pulled out of their sockets and left to dangle. \sometimes they fell off and would be reset by my Mum, a physiotherapist. This would be done with a rubber band and things would be as right as rain almost immediately. I went training last night and had my arms and legs pulled out of their sockets, twisted around and left feeling sore and bruised. Is this some kind of karma for my previous abuses of my plastic mannequin figure manufactured by Palitoy? If so, it has been carrying on long enough and today I can barely move without feeling like my leg or arm are falling off. I had a couple of Action Men , the latter one had ‘Eagle eyes’ that operated through a lever in the back of his head, he also had flock hair. Over the course of his glorious career, Action Man acquired a tank, a whole bunch of guns and a deep sea diving suit, the old fashioned type. Which he used to investigate the bottom of the garden pond. His attempts at parachuting out of the bedroom window, met with mixed results, my parents clearly thought it was a dangerous hobby, refusing to sanction this new hobby. To circumvent this drawback, I manufactured a ‘chute out of a section of fabric, tied string to the corners and around AM’s torso like I had seen in the films on tv, fully encouraging this new, exciting activity. Landing on solid concrete from about 30 feet up, without an adequate means of deceleration has it’s drawbacks. AM was hard as f*ck, he was so hard he had a scar running down his cheek.

Other news, or soon to be news. I am going to potter around in the garden today, enjoying the sunshine and doing garden related stuff. I may go for a cycle afterwards, this time taking the correct bunch of keys, so I can lock the bike up in town. I shall probably be getting a re-supply of my medication as well. Though that will depend on my dealer and his whereabouts. Happily I have a few days worth left and may well not bother. Running out does not bother me nearly so much as it used to. I really want to get some stuff up in the attic and some other stuff down. I shall be relaxing my mind away, from those things I do not get done and cheering myself on those that I complete.

I am surprised Action Man has not been ‘woked’ yet and being marketed as Trans Action Man. I think I may well have to write on this at a later time.

Groaning in Ecstasy (aka that was sheer agony)

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

So a few days ago, I managed to throw my back out. Resulting in excruciating discomfort, having to go through long, complex rituals in trying to stand up and groaning like someone in a sexual ecstasy. if only! having spoken to my physiotherapist. ( My Mum) I have been advised, that I have most likely got a trapped nerve and that is why it feels like my backside is falling off. The treatment is application of frozen peas or an icepack, to lessen the inflammation and trying not to do to much, in terms of physical work, for the next few days. I am also inclined to think that breathing in to sharply or deep, sneezing, coughing and several other things are also to be avoided. They can all cause the most intense paroxysm’s of pain, the novelty of which wore off pretty quickly. Apart from that, my right tricep and left knee do not like me, I know this because they protest, when I want them to do anything. J has been a great help and has inadvertently become my carer, helping me out of chairs and stuff. Thank Dog I can still wipe my own backside, I would not wish to visit that task upon anyone.

That aside, things are pretty good around here. The kitchen is now gleaming and spotlessly clean, Thank you J. There are some things starting to grow in the green house, though we may well bring them in where it is warmer for a few days. What else? not much to be honest, things have been rather quiet around here these last few days apart from of course the groans of ‘ecstasy’ that punctuate the day. I shall taking things easy today and relaxing a bit more than I usually do. I may even do a little bit of job searching, or should I concentrate on my own business affairs first?

Whatever you are doing, don’t attempt to touch your toes, whilst bending bending down with your legs straight, though a good demonstration of flexibility, it is a rotten idea, as are lateral stretches. These are probably the things that messed me up. Don’t kneel on hard surfaces, unless you have a soft thing for your knees to rest upon. Finally drink plenty of water and don’t worry yourself about those things, that are out of your control, it will only give you upset bowels.