Twenty years ago I was sat down watching the box and saw what a bunch of mad people did. Whether it was a bunch militant Arabs, or psychopathic elites and their lackies it does not matter. What we ought remember is, those who died, how the state of the world has changed since then. Finally what human beings are capable of, when their ego’s get out of hand and they are given too much power and money.
Other news now. The weather has been quite pleasant these last days and I have compelled myself to a whole lot of things. Mostly gardening, a large amount of gardening. Having got a whole load of stuff done outside, it is now time to do a whole lot of stuff inside. This inside stuff includes writing blogs, preparing fruit for turning into wine and making my excuses to the job centre. I long for the day, when I no longer have to claim govt. support and relish telling them to f*ck off. Not that that is ever going to happen, its easier to be polite when ending a relationship. You never know if you might need that some ones help again. Talking about Job centres, I am thinking of applying for a different realm of work, I like gardening, but would I want to be a gardener. I use it to deal with my life stresses, ideal perhaps, but would I want to garden my own garden? Imagine how chefs feel after a long days work in a kitchen. Going home and cooking yet more food in their own kitchen. Or do they get a kebab on the way home instead. I used to cook for a living and did so on a regular basis, eating the stuff I cooked at work, got a little tiresome after the first week. So kebabs ruled.
Funerals are probably best left alone, as are shops and supermarkets. If I find myself involved with retail again I may well kill myself. (After doing a lot of other people first) I abhor violence and would not want anyone to have to clean up after losing it. I love nature and animals, though the pig farm is not the sort of place I would want to involve myself with. Nor the egg company, they are too much like Auschwitz for animals, in fact the only difference between these places is the commodity involved. I cannot think of a more foul species on this beautiful planet we share. I dislike slugs with a passion, especially when I step on them in bare feet. Spiders, once my most feared and hated ‘opponent’ is now a favoured friend. Rats, Mice Cockroaches and other beastly things… Only ants are so violent and destructive towards members of their own species.
This morning has been spent painting, eating and drinking Coffee, I have only come upstairs to plug the laptop in… And procrastinate. That is the trouble when there are distractions around the place and you are feeling off, with little to motivate, or propel you in any real direction. Perhaps I ought to leave the machine here and go back to painting, at least I would be occupied fruitfully or how about the garden? Either way I should stop worrying about where those commas ought go, this is not an examination and I can check things before posting. Keeping one ear (literally in my case) open for the door is also on my mind, you may be asking one ear? Yes I only have one ear, the other is broken.
A copy of this book was once gifted me for my birthday, I still think family were taking the Mick.
Anyway I always enjoyed the Tintin books and at one point had the whole lot of them barring Tintin in the Congo. Which was almost impossible to get because it had been banned due to it’s politically incorrect content. I am going to pull some socks on soon and do something else other than writing, cause I am still heel dragging and get the idea I need a change of scenery.
Despite my calling and emails I have not yet received any new information regarding that pesky job interview which is set for tomorrow. perhaps I ought to look for a job as an art teacher somewhere, I think I might enjoy doing that. Even better of course, would be painting for a living, artists are an under appreciated lot and are often taken for granted. Just try living your day without the writers, set designers, authors, game designers, painters and anybody else who creates for a living.
I do take commissions, work in a variety of media and specialise in portraiture and landscapes.
Sometimes I think whether my efforts as an artist are being wasted, so far in my artistic journey I have sold two paintings (one via auction, the other a commission) Went to art college for a year which was a horrible experience and rip off and found myself being encouraged to become the Treasurer of my local art group. The last I declined, citing University commitments and some other stuff. The good news is I have finally pulled my finger out, stopped trying to be perfect and just got on and worked. Real work seems to disagree with me, or I with it and after Seventy+ employers, I think it is time I worked for myself. The whole Covid business encourages this idea, I am hardly likely to scrounge a dose of it at home and I can drink tea or eat when I want as well.
Being self employed does mean I have to exercise self discipline, working even when I don’t want to. If I add school work to the mix, I should probably be quite busy. Not half as busy mind if I had to go out and work for some other bugger each day. Public transport gives me the creeps, buses are truly ghastly and incubators of all the terrible diseases. Safe to say I would rather take the car, cycle or walk to wherever it is I am supposed to be heading.
It would be nice to have a change and a move away from the laptop for a few hours each day. Do some painting in the daylight hours and migrate up here afterward, to type, edit and post. J goes to bed quite early and there will be no creaking as I trudge up the stairs at night. Speaking of which, I have to go put out the cat tray and make sure everything is locked up. It is getting to that time, where I must brush my teeth and go to bed.
Study has taken up a considerable amount of time recently and for once I think I am actually enjoying myself. Writing more on here for my own pleasure would be nice of course, but do you really want to know about The Irish Potato Famine?
As we head nearer toward Christmas, I laugh at those fools who booked themselves a totally unneeded vacation down in Cornwall. (England’s South West) and have now had to cancel with no refund, cause one of them caught the Covid and they all have to stay home and sweat it out for the next fortnight. I doubt you will find this in the papers, but is probably a common tale to be found across the globe right now, anywhere there’s are idiots at least. In the meantime J and I are settling down, we argue at times and she encourages me to be a better person and I hope I am doing that for the both of us. Switching off from studying and relaxing seems to be one of the harder tings to do right now, unwinding seems to be Alcohol based and probably does not work so well. The other method works very well and the only spirit used is to wash the brushes and thin oil paint. It’s hoped that I will get some work done on the artistic side of things over the next few days. Doing a job search and applying to a few would also be a good idea. Also the car could do with a good wash and a clean, the weather is ideal for such a task. Grey miserable and dank. In the US right now they have snow, I like snow. J says I would be sick of it after a short while and she is probably right.
I want to wind up here and go paint, put down new ideas, complete old stuff, drink tea and eat food. I want to give up alcohol, but am lazy, support J in her sobriety journey but am perhaps a bit selfish. In the meantime I study, write and listen to Opera obsessively. Feel I am running out of art materials, yet have loads in the cupboard. The same goes for my encroaching belly that threatens increase on a daily basis. The time for change is here and that change ought be embraced.
Yesterday I started writing a blog, This morning I dismantled and erased it. I thought it was crap! Today I am going to paint more and write about something else, other than stuff that is going down at home. Though that shall be sneaked in at points as well. It is more than anything, deciding what to write about, indecision perhaps being most relevant right now. I have been thinking about making Stinging Nettle beer, does anybody have a clue what 800 grams of those things looks like? Neither do I. I spent yesterday evening painting some landscapes and getting new ideas down on paper at least, the next days, even today I will be doing something more constructive and bringing these ideas into the light. Looking for work though not so enjoyable is also necessary.
The thing about being an artist, it is quite easy to compare yourself to those who have gone before. The leonardo’s, van Goghs and others and thinking to yourself” why do I even bother? I can never be as good as those guys.” Actually I am not a great fan of that Leonardo man, but anyway if we can compare ourselves to other people we get nowhere in our own journey. We each have our own style of thinking, of working and speaking and this is something we ought to remember. We can study how Vincent painted, we can study leonardo and his stuff, we can learn maybe even copy but you/we cannot be that person. EVER! Or anyone else for that matter.
Being grateful for what you have, is a far better stance than being miserable for what you do not have. You wanna be as rich as that Bezos man? Good ,you get the stupidly long hours and ridiculous amounts of responsibility as well. Just think about how far he can fall, and how far you can fall. Many of us want to be wealthy and like the idea of having lots of money, some of us even grizzle about how we need so much more. We make ourselves poor, just by thinking like that. Other people complain how Bezos does not pay enough tax etc he is so wealthy that he can currently give every many, woman and child on the planet $26.23 dollars (Increasing daily) which for many is next to bugger all. Now imagine the day when he can give all those people, you and me included $5,000 or more. That day is fast approaching, now imagine Bill Gates and et al all doing the same, will you be complaining then? I don’t think so and if you are, then you ought give it back to them, cause it will be wasted on you.
Even though it would be a nice thing to write everyday, there are times when that does not happen. This is due to one thing or another and sometimes something else, the rest of the time I am probably painting.
It is a good thing to remember that creativity comes in many forms and ‘beating’ yourself up cause you have not stuck to your goals is good for nothing. better to just accept you are human and are not infallible. The painting has been taking over these last few days and it is nice to retreat back up to the library and do some writing instead. Being up here means I get to sit in a comfy chair and not be distracted by canvas, paint and brushes.
I am currently working on finishing off the back room, this is after thinking it was all done, when it was not. The wood work is displeasing to my eye and needs correcting, the door frame has been stripped down, the door removed from it’s hinges. Later on I shall probably apply paint stripper to the skirting boards and maybe pull out the fridge and freezer and do behind them too.
Today was a day of not doing very much, no garden pond, no redecorating, no tidying no nothing a day of relaxation (almost) But I did pick up a paint brush and use it for it’s intended purpose that of applying paint to canvas. I also worked through one of my old set of ramblings and found staying on subject a bit of a chore and not because what I was working from is rambling to say the least and frequently jumping from one subject to another, smoking, alcohol, Pink Floyd, Cannabis Chernobyl and radiation.
It would be easier if I could read my hand writing and feel sorry for anybody who has to read it in my place like someone marking an examination paper, I have argued this one with the university authorities numerous times and explained this and that and the other and they do not want to know. I need an official letter stating I have a hand writing disability or similar type condition. It’s enough to make a cat laugh.
I explained this dilemma to my Tom cat ( that’s him in the photo) and all he did was purr and proceed to lick his backside, he cares… about food, a warm bed and home and not much else.J just pointed out that I repeated myself that’s cut,copy and paste for you and I forgot to check it through or if I did it wasn’t noticed.
I would really like to write more but cannot find the words to write right now, perhaps it is time for bed or something.