My nerves feel at breaking point and my mind is trying to spin me all sorts of strange and sometimes unpleasant ideas. One minute the idea of killing myself pops up, the next how peaceful death would be. Then some fucker comes along and reminds me off the person who finds the corpse, how are they going to feel… I want my cat to come home, I miss him dreadfully and want to hold him in my arms. The rest of it is down to Cyclothymia. I am currently experiencing a downward mood. It’s not fun, but I have to take the rough with the smooth. Happily it makes for something to write about.
I have been wanting to go buy garden shredders and chain saws, a result of doing the garden. I have done loads out side. chopped stuff back, cleared away waste. I have finally planted the vine, in the greenhouse. The flower pots are now in a neat pile at the back, they will be sorted in due course. The Tomatoes look and taste beautiful, far better than the crap in the shops. The bits I want to remove on the Nut Tree have been marked. Chopped up, it will make beautiful fire wood. As will the pile of stuff in the hollow. Something for the equinox perhaps. Blessed be.
I guess I shall be creating a missing notice this afternoon. That and or, going knocking on doors, with a photograph. There is no Karate training tomorrow evening, which means I can spend the day looking for him. Unless of course, he does what he did last time. Appearing as soon, as I start looking for him. So why am I writing this, when I could be out looking. Well TBH I told myself I would do the garden first, then blog and whilst being creative, would make a missing cat sign. All while, thinking about food. I am going to put something on to warm in a couple of minutes., then do the notice. All whilst listening to Roger Waters solo project: ‘The pros and cons of hitch hiking’ This version appears to be missing; 5.06 AM Every strangers eyes.