RANDOM WONDERINGS

Uncategorized

So working at home has overtaken me and the upload device on the website has ground to a halt. I am unable to upload my painting of Betty Page with her breasts exposed, so I am drinking tea instead. Clicking on the reload button has of course taken things back to zero but I could do with a break from the art work thing. having thrashed out a ton of material yesterday, I think I am in need of a rest. That shall come later I have some more work to do first and training later. Then I shall sleep like a baby and for having done a good days work I shall sleep even more soundly. I do not know about other forms of employment and for that matter I do not really care, having decided long ago it is a pointless exercise wasting my time on other peoples shit, it never lasts for long and I only get depressed and somewhat suicidal. The very idea of slaving on the minimum for some other bastard fills me with a sense of horror, only exacerbated by the medication I am on which lists confusion,depression and aggression amongst the side effects . . Still I am glad to be near free of discomfort and this I imagine will only decrease as the dosage increases. Hopefully some day soon the doctors will be able to fix the thing completely. Only time will tell on that one.

BETTY PAGE

What else? Oh yes I went into town the other day, Saturday to be precise. It was as I thought it would be, a god damned awful experience, it started raining, parking was hideously expensive and is enough to deter me from going there again. looking at it, what is there I cannot get delivered to my door? In future I may just cycle in and get some exercise at the same time. I may just tolerate it that way and not want to top myself for living in such a shite city. Please do not come here, it is diabolically awful in any number of ways. The only saving grace is the nice buildings we have, not that you can really go into them. The custodians of the places are a bunch of fussy so and so’s, they do not like common riff raff entering their temples of learning. I cannot say blame them for being so. The buggers inside called students pay a fortune to learn shit in those places, they cannot have them being contaminated by the townies. The Dons would not like it very much either, the riff raff might drop cigarette butts on the ground and even belch or Dog forbid. Fart.

Sophia Loren in The Millionairess

This is of course all fantastical, all the above people fart, belch and the smokers amongst them drop ciggie butts on the floor they are human like the rest of us. Though saying that there is nothing wrong with having standards and good manners. Likewise there is nothing wrong with telling people you do not like to piss off , just do it as politely as possible. The weather has brightened up a little since I started writing so I am going to put some suitable clothes on and go plant the Foxgloves and those other things I have forgotten the name of. By the time that’s all done it will be time for lunch. The cats are currently fast asleep, kitchen noises will soon change that and it is predicted Ninja Cat will be down to investigate, scrounge and get in the way too. Otherwise life is pleasantly on the quiet side, I am able to get on with what I have to do, relax, if you can call it that, though this is the way I do relax. By doing things, being creative, productive and getting things out of the way that might otherwise bother my head unnecessarily.

If at first you fail, get up and …

Autobiographical

So far today I have attempted to write a fluid article on Russian scam brides, the kind you find cluttering your junk mail folder, the kind that say avoid like the Plague. The kind that says to adventurous opportunist artists, write back, get photos, paint them. This is what I was doing, the words were not flowing, they felt wooden and clumping, like wet cat litter, so I quit that and started on a new CV, making myself attractive to new employers, trying to tell them about my long and checkered work history and failing miserably in the process. In desperation, I made a simple meal, ate it and started writing this instead. That and watching some porn in another window, she has nice breasts and a fantastic bush. Her smile is quite engaging, but I guess that works better than a grimace or a frown. It’s all part of human psychology you know, a smile is welcoming, is warm and makes you want to get closer to each other. (usually)

Some porn

I could quite happily spend inordinate amounts of time watching porn, instead I spend amounts of time looking for work, knowing full well it will prove disastrous within a few weeks or so when I do find work. it is not negative thinking, it is a total fact. Having had 80+ previous employers I think somebody, somewhere is telling me something about what I ought be doing in terms of employment. Indeed I have written on this subject previously and seeing as it is quite dominant in my career record so far, it is time I took notice of it and did something about it. I can barely sack myself can I and when I do, I can be reinstated later that day. I have a set of ideas I would like to put into motion and with recent events as they are I am now in a position to be able to do so.

My cat is sitting on the back of the chair, keeping my neck warm. Ideally he wants to sit on my lap, however the desk gets in the way with his needs and my legs move around, disturbing his repose. I can scratch his neck easily and listen to his purring, that is despite the music playing. He likes to think He is in charge here, determining where he sits, when he is fed and the rest of it. Little does he know it, he is totally.

Otherwise I have been painting and drawing loads, have got through a large amount of the back log of incomplete work, started a bunch of new material and wonder how to correct glaring mistakes and paint splashes that could easily have been avoided. In the meantime I am posting lots of new material to my Instagram page and of course here.

Some more porn

Gold, Ego and Oxford

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

So I kicked the final remnants of junk out of the house today, all of it clothing and all to the same place as the other two loads. I now have a half empty cupboard and am going to buy some new stuff to replace it all with, the second exercise this morning was to go and get the weeks food shopping and now that is done I can fully relax and get on with more important things, things like painting and this. House tidying is a week day exercise, the garden is good for any day of the week. I also have a chunk of editing to do on some photos and would rather that be done now, than have a mountains worth later on, which is simply depressing.

Painting wise, I am attempting to clear the backlog of work that has been laying around. This will free up space and help clear my head to new ideas, or at least that is the plan. Despite buying a couple of bottles of beer today, I am now teetotal during the week and keeping a clear head for the purpose of study and work, by work I mean that which benefits me, not other people unless they are buying the products I have to offer. I think I have already expressed my feelings about making other people wealthier, though naturally I would like more of an income to satisfy my various needs, to buy things that I probably do not need. Maybe I should just buy a lotto ticket instead, then I can flip one at the job centre too. Oh for the joys of having pots and pots of money. I would buy Silver Bullion and nice gold coins and keep it all under the stairs like a miser. I am not daft enough to do that, so please do not come round saying you are a staircase salesman or other like Bullshit, If you do I will set the cats on you.

gold | Facts, Properties, & Uses | Britannica

Imagine going to the estate agent and saying you want to buy a house in their window and plonking a gold bar (or two) down on the desk to pay for it, I would love to do that, so much more fun, than writing cheques or making bank drafts over to people. A twelve kilo gold bar will set you back in the region of around £568,000, which is not actually that much, considering a half decent terrace house in Oxford. (Which is a shit hole) will set you back around £350,000 and that is Blackbird Leys which is a dung heap. The closer you move into the shit hole, the costlier the houses become. Personally I want out of Oxford, having lived in this town for far too long now.

Friday 7th January 2022, 17:50pm

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

So the job search has commenced with a couple of hours worth of studying The British Empire in India with a little bit of The French Empire thrown in for good measure. I am taking a break now, having completed what I set out to do and shall restart things on Monday morning, or that is at least the plan I have in mind. What has happened in the meantime? The new printer has been installed I can manage without the wifi business and it fits nicely on the desk, does not rattle or scream when printing and is way faster than the old thing, which now sits forlornly on the floor whilst I wonder as to its final destination. 1st J has successfully moved to Ithaca, which is her spiritual base, she is happiest there and has a place she is settling into so that’s good, I will continue to pinch the photos she made of the cats, if you read yesterdays article you would have seen the one of Lulu otherwise known as Lulabelle also known as meow meow. Anyway enough of Ithaca and more on something else, actually I hope to do a small article on Ithaca sometime, it is a nice town, and I spent many a happy time there in the last few years and hope to go back in the not too distant future.

One of the best things about not having to go to work is that you get lots of spare time to do the things that suit you, that have been building up over a period and need addressing. I have spent a part of today doing that kind of thing, printing documents, helping a mate sort his stuff out and a whole bunch of other stuff that I will not go into here. Having completed these tasks has lifted a bunch of weight off of my back and I am fully ready to attack (if that is the right expression) the next lot of stuff. I may well start tomorrow with a bunch more school work, print off some more paperwork and do stuff around the home, I wish the place to be half way tidy as I have guests on Sunday and first impressions always count the most, I will also go out and buy some nice food and make a nice meal to share. I will not bother shaving, I am done with that nonsense and she knows me to have a beard in any case plus I do not have a razor or other system of hair removal at my disposal.

Nun

I will be getting my backside into gear soon and get ready to go to training, I have not been for a while due to the Christmas break and it will be nice to have some exercise and get a couple of bruises. Hopefully nobody busts my fingers up this time as it hurts and I want my hands to paint, draw and and write and anything else that hands are used for. I may do some painting later on after I get home, or I may not it, it will depend on entirely how I feel.

Black cats and printers

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

So yesterday marked another transition in the great and often eventful journey that I shall call Peters Employment History, I think I am up to 83 now, give or take a couple, I did make a list a while ago now, but cannot be arsed with anymore. Like many an old film or repeat TV series it has a hole worn in the proverbial and is barely worth carrying on. Living in the past or at least dwelling on it is all good and fine for a little while but does no good if you are looking to and driving forwards in life, it is in fact a bit like being in charge of a motor vehicle and like not paying attention to what is going on around you whilst driving, can prove to be highly dangerous and costly. In the meantime I am going to be pursuing my own affairs, putting stuff in order and starting this New Year with the correct footwear on to get things done and working. I shall also be developing and working upon my website and doing some art promotion. I Think it is too late to do Art Weeks this year, it has alluded me for several years now, so hopefully I manage to get my shit in order for next year and other forthcoming events this year.

My printer has decided to stop working, I think it dislikes the non OEM cartridges I am feeding it, the issue is always with the cyan cartridge, this printer does not like blue for some reason, even when I am printing in black and white. can you believe a printer is so stubborn and crap that it will refuse to print a B&W document or image due to a stoppage in an unrelated area? I have had this machine for almost 10 years now and am giving it one last go with an OEM cartridge and if it denies me the pleasure of making my work space shake and rattle once more then it is going to a new home. I imagine there is a Birkenau ii type place for unruly printers, where they are dismantled and otherwise destroyed and made into something new. I have included a link for anyone who does not know what Birkenau was and trust me there are plenty of them, my former workplace had at least three of them. All they knew about was LGBTQIA+ and other trendy stuff that permeates charitable housing projects staffed by the often idealistic and naive. I would like to mention I have no gripe towards the people I used to work for, actually I did not work for them I just happened to work in their premises. A place that is fit for demolition and where the drains back up into each other, flush the lavvie in room 217 and a phantom turd appears in room 220, you get the general picture.

Sometimes I think this country could do with tidying up and I am not talking about the litter on the streets and people who throw or dump their crap by the side of the road, though that needs addressing as well. The current system is well easy to take the piss out of, claimants receive the rent as opposed to the landlord, that tells you a lot about things. Any benefit you do receive can be spent on almost anything including drugs and alcohol and other non essentials. J tells me in the US or at least NY state you get a payment card that is restricted on what you can purchase and from where, no alcohol, luxury goods and the rest. It is hard core and prevents misuse, in my opinion it is a brilliant idea. I would like to see addicts being given a choice rehab or prison and forcible rehabilitation. Re-education and making things the more unpleasant for non conformers. The benefits system needs to be shaken up. rent payments being made direct to the landlord and robust punishment for those who take the piss. As for putting bloody refugees before our own countries citizens that idea and practice can fuck off immediately. Fill the English channel with man eating sharks, that would deter the fuckers, it’s impractical I know no self respecting man eating shark would want to swim around in that ghastly stretch of water and it would bugger up places like Brighton.

May be a close-up of cat
Lulu Courtesy of Jacklyn Jay

I am going to spend the rest of the day, studying, painting and doing something called eating. I am currently feeling hungry and need to correct this imbalance. In the meantime Lulu the cat has come to remind me she needs fussing and is more important than anything she can think of, which is namely food and sleeping. She likes sitting on the desk up here in the library, where she can be fussed over and stroked to her hearts content, she was brushed this morning and her coat is now softer and glossier than it has been in quite a while. I must clean out the tray later on and replace the litter.

Rhubarb, Plums and the Devils brew

Autobiographical

last night was one of them nights, and a quite familiar experience of recent. How I long for a decent nights sleep again. saying that I do not actually feel as tired as all that, despite having slept for less than 5 hours or at least it seemed like that, certainly not enough. I recall looking at my watch which read 3:30 or something stupid. I swear I had spent most of my time to this point tossing, turning and every other exercise apart from actually sleeping. Perhaps I have too much going on in my head and not being able to find the off switch only exacerbates the whole thing. What else? I went out this morning looking for Mr. Fox. Foxy is my cat who has been missing for an inordinate amount of time, though he has been ‘spotted’ a couple of times, it is now just a matter of either catching him or his coming home. I have to go knock on a door or two in the next couple of days and deal with someone who may be harbouring him, he or a cat like him, has been spotted coming out of there, so who knows. I do not know how I might react if someone has knowingly cat-napped my pet. part of me would want to tear their head off, the other half to do something else.

Another batch of homebrew is getting started, Rhubarb, Plum and Fig this time. First time I have tried the recipe and playing it all by ear. The Rhubarb from earlier in the season is now ready for bottling. The stuff from last year needs filtering again and ought be good for drinking very soon. Then there is the Parsnip and Plum wine to be considered, I think I shall keep the current lot for home consumption and part of any future brew will be passed onto unsuspecting friends and relatives. One imagines, with some simple distilling equipment it can be possible to cook a load of this booze down into a passable liqueur, especially where the Plums are concerned, I am sceptical of the Rhubarb being cooked down into something new though you never know what it might turn out like unless you try.

Job applications, stuff for the Job centre and more exciting stuff have been dealt with, at least in part or in mind. The rest of it shall be completed presently, along with a heap of fiction to make it look like I have done something in accordance with my job seekers agreement, Like spending 40 hours a week looking for work. I think there are better and more profitable things to be doing with my time, though I guess telling that to the employment advisor might be not be such a great idea.

Sin and confession

Autobiographical

As many of you may know, I was raised in the Roman Catholic Church, an organisation that thinks sperm is sacred and their clergymen are not allowed to marry. We also have this sacrament called confession where we have to tell the priest our shit, like stealing our dad’s booze and looking at porno mags. This could also include behaviour like masturbation and things like having sex and enjoying yourself and or not going to church. Did I mention telling lies, smoking cigarettes and playing cards? Well they could be added in as well. In return the priest would give us a reward of lets say ten Hail Mary’s, six Glory Bee’s and a bunch of Our Fathers. It all depended on what you had ‘fessed up to. Perhaps it would depend on how the priest was feeling, I don’t know.

Many years ago I had been caught dancing with myself and my Mum in her religious fervour sent me off to see the priest. He was a dirty looking scare crow of a man and there was a bottle of Glenfiddich clearly visible on his counter top. I guess somebody thought it would loosen my tongue and provide a good confession. It certainly did, I like Whisky and I span him a whole bunch of lies instead, the joke was I did not care for religion by this time and sneezed at the idea and concept of confession. However I was living at home and my youngish mind, thought it a good idea to comply. Well to cut a story short I span him a load of stuff that would make a Madame blush, I swear the old pervert had a lip trembler going, he stank of booze and his blood shot eyes were horrid, as were his shaking hands. I think Half of that bottle disappeared in the couple of hours I was there, it was near Christmas and was piss cold outside. I have forgotten the penance he gave me, though I do remember not doing any of it.

If I was not sceptical of priests and religion before that point, I was afterwards and still am. More on that later on. I have recently been inspired to dig out some old artwork and share it again, I don’t think I have mentioned getting rid of a load of work a few weeks ago.

I am quite pleased with myself this evening, I have managed to leave the alcohol alone, despite their being a bottle of cider in the fridge. My cart Ninjas had the Scabies/Mange and is recovering well. He has been depressed and does not like being bathed and covered in ointment. Mr. Fox on the other hand, has been noticeable by his absence. I hope he comes home very soon. I love him.

AN UPDATE ON THE PREVIOUS ARTICLE.

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So despite the wound clearing up, the vet giving the all clear and all the rest of that jazz. Things opened up again and a great load of green gack oozed out of what was a nicely scabbed over and clearing up sore patch. It looked like a gigantic green slug, minus the horns, though I would not be surprised to see a pair of them in the future. Too say I am at my wits end would be an understatement. I would be pulling my hair out, if I thought it would do any good and I alcohol would be a proper waste of time… We have a vet appointment this afternoon and I am kind of taking a tight grip on reality right now. Is it time to let him go, or does he stay. If this injury was mine, size for size, I would be moaning like a bitch. The cat, Mr fox is more stoical than that, though he does growl a bit at the moment and looks rather sulky. I do have to remember the vet warned me that wounds of this nature, can be a sod to heal, I would be a stupid sod to argue otherwise.

So that’s that off of my chest, do I feel better for offloading like that? No not really, but it might help a little bit at some point. I admit i busted into tears a short while ago at the prospect of loosing the little man. But you know something, change is inevitable, irresistible and inevitable. There is no stopping it or controlling when that change will happen. so it is pointless resisting the inevitable awfulness of what must happen. It has to be embraced and acknowledged. I do not think I could do the job of a vet. I am not brave or kind enough for such stuff. I think it would kill me, or me myself. then what use would I be. Nothing.

In the meantime, I am waiting for the lawn to dry out as I want to mow it. Trimming the hedge would also be a welcome distraction. In the meantime i think I shall paint a Toadstool, or at least part of a toadstool. I dislike doing things with electricity in the wet and damp. Do I need to explain why? As for everything else, I am lucky to have J listening at the other end of the line and other good friends around me who will lend a supporting ear or whatever other part of their anatomy is available. I think shoulders are quite popular at this sort of time. A friend of mine once said in times of darkness think of light, think of love and of life. Right now that is actually easy, but not that easy. It fact it is turning out to be fucking hard. My head feels like it is full of I don’t know what. I can feel my temper flaring just that little bit more than it needs to. Could it be I am a little bit stressed right now?

Uncategorized

So J went back to the US back on the 12th and the day before that the cat took sick. Happily the cat is well on the road to recovery, Jackie has got a permanent residence and the vet bills required me to change my plans for the month and spend the lot on Mr. Fox ( The cat) I have never been happier to spend so much on anyone in my entire life. he had an abscess, that was pressing on his spine and must have been causing excruciating amounts of discomfort. Long story short, the thing burst, closed up, reopened and oozed lots of thick green ‘snot’. The secondary infection was due to his getting outside and going on an all-nighter. Operation, stitches and being indoors is probably getting him by now, especially as the weather is nice again. I take him out a few times a day, making sure to hold him and prevent any mad dash for freedom he may make. Though what with a cone/collar thing on I doubt he will get too far.

Mr. Fox

J and I are now simply friends, we have different priorities to each other and we each must steer our own course. It is no good us being in the same ship anymore. I imagine our paths will cross again in the future. Though I imagine not least until the Covid business has cleared off and we are given something new to worry ourselves over. What else? Oh yes I have run out of weed. Years ago this would have caused a huge amount of distraction and concern. Today I could not care less and shall enjoy cleaning my act up a little bit. Smoking fogged my mind and did not allow for clear thinking, which hindered study, which caused anxiety issues neither of which I currently need. My painting has resumed, new ideas are flourishing and I am happy.

I hope to be getting back onto the blog more often now things have calmed down a little bit. I also want to be working on the website and promoting my work a little bit more. I shall also be applying for some kind of employment soon. Something simple, stress free and enjoyable. I do not think it will involve wearing a tie. It may allow me to get away with wearing a skirt, being more relaxed and informal.

Not doing very much

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

Whilst in the midst of not looking for work. (Something I am not very good at) and studying (which needs improvement) I have been dropping by garden centres and the like and getting things in the ground for the new season. Other than that, contemplating empty hanging baskets and mending the cat, not much has taken place. Now the weather is nice, I am spending a bit more time out on the bicycle. I need the fresh air, space and exercise, it helps clear out my chest and lungs to. You see there is or at least was some unwanted matter there. It’s not the Covid, probably more just dust and stuff. Anyway I felt a lot better for my ride out into town the other day. Spring time being here, it is probably a good time to get out, and taking more fresh air, getting fit again.

I was going to write about a foul medical doc. I watched the other evening. Happily it has been lost forever, instead I shall write about something else. Not gardening though, every other thing on this page must look like it is to do with gardening. It just seems more interesting than house work and clearing up behind the Children. (Cats) Trust me, there is nothing exciting about what those wretched animals do or leave behind, expecting someone else to clean up behind them. They are lazy, demanding and for two of them… Vocal. However I would not swap them for anything, and they will always come first. What else is there,? Not much to be honest, it has been a remarkably uneventful few days here. Most of my time has been spent gardening, studying and or painting. The rest of it, well day dreaming and that kind of thing. Not worrying my head if I do not need to and spending more time in the here and now than previously.

It is high time, I checked to see if the Stylus has arrived, after that I am going to do some more school work and read about the deprivation in London in the late Nineteenth century.