Bed clothes, Covid and Pangolins

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So before I go and do something more mundane like changing the bed clothes and shooing the cats outside, I am going to write. Then I ought to get on and do some more school work, however the weather looks nice today and to waste it would be a pity so I shall put the washing out to dry in it and do some stuff out there as well. being outdoors is good for the spirit and working with nature has been proven to be beneficial also.

Aside from the weather, J and I have been spending lots of time chatting via video link We are still apart from each other due to this stupid Corona bug but what can you do. It will probably go away as quickly as it came and in a few years be replaced with something equally tiresome, brought about by eating Rats, Bats, snakes or Pangolins… It boggles my mind as to the rubbish people will put down their throats and call food but that is just me and as tasty as Chicken can be, they look much nicer feathered and strutting around the yard, scratching in the dirt. In truth of course there a thousand different theories as to how the Covid started, most of them are utter cobblers and the one about 5G being the cause, beggars belief entirely. The best one is probably unhygienic practices at some food market or other. Hopefully people learn the lessons from this pandemic and the planet and its inhabitants can move forward accordingly.

A place I want to be WIP 2020

Otherwise the art is coming along fine, though I have yet to do anything on the above subject or am I likely too. There are better things to focus my attention upon.

PROGRESS AND MOTION

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

So these last days have been spent watching the rain fall outside my study window, and if not in there, then downstairs whilst painting. The website has also been getting a makeover and even if I find it a puzzle at times to work out the new system of doing things in page design … I have to embrace it all cause it is teaching flexibility and despite all the swearing it is actually a far better layout than it was and the whole thing looks better than it did previously.

Painting has been going on strong, I have spent more time recycling old boards and canvas to make into new work, this saves the hassle of having to go shopping, gets rid of old household paint makes space and saves money too. All of which are good things, and encourage me to practice more and not worry too much about supplies running low. Apart from work already in progress, I am switching back to Acrylic for the duration, it is easier to work with in any number of ways and does not stink like the other stuff. Still on art I am forcing myself to paint new material, stepping away from nude women whilst probably being the staple of many artists is getting rather boring. I may have to start painting men instead. Or should I use my imagination?

All of this seems far more interesting and easier than SEO, which looks like it could take a little while to get right and then keeping it right seems to be a full time job. Together with University coursework it looks like I may be busier than expected and that is exactly how I want things to be. Fully occupied. Finding a new employer could also be a useful aside but I am not running anywhere too quickly at the moment I do not care for this Corona business and would rather enjoy the late summer weather whilst I still can. Jackie is away at the moment, she is still in the US of course but is largely incommunicado I do miss her of course but does mean I can get on and do more work than I would normally get done. She ought to be back in town next week.

My apologies for the lack of punctuation in this blog.

WORK IN PROGRESS

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One of the things about being an artist is that you may well find yourself at times with a pile of work that is incomplete which is known as (WIP) This can be something that is sat on the easel or tucked away behind the cupboard drying out, awaiting some more work. if you are working in oils then it is more of the drying out, which can often take ages. Sometimes a piece just sits there for ages and gets treated like some tiresome task that is always being put off.

Sometimes this tardiness is mistaken for procrastination when it is in fact lack of motivation, a difficulty in getting started and needing a break from that god awful chair downstairs that belongs in a torture museum, it is so uncomfortable even the cats ignore it. actually the chair is only part of the equation, I suspect there is a change in direction in the offing, involving greater preparation and better draughtsmanship. Learning how to draw noses.

The garden and pond site are also in need of attention as is the cloakroom which gets done when the weather is really wet, the pond can only be done properly when the bottom has dried out properly and stops being squelchy, squelchy bottoms do not make for stable solid platforms upon which to work.

 

WHILST LISTENING TO LUDWIG VAN B.

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

I could write some inflammatory rantings here about a host of issues including Messrs. Johnson and Trump. I am not going to, they both have a job to do and whatever that job is and whoever they are working for let them get on with it.

Conspiracy theories and that sort of thing used to take up a not small bit of my day.  However a few years ago I grew up and stopped bothering my head about the NWO and Bohemia Grove and took up spirituality instead. The current lock down is providing plenty of time for study of this kind  and with university done with for the year even more so. Part of this spiritual practice is creating or more more precisely painting, I have been doing loads of painting and am running out of Turpentine. (Though I have plenty of white spirit) which does not smell nearly as nice. I am also halfway to convincing myself I am in desperate need of a major re-supply of paint when in fact I have plenty and this is probably the thing that is causing me to have acid reflux  the  supposed lack of paint.  Once a while ago it was finances, now it is paint and whilst finances are not great, they are the least of my concerns, the chief of which is paint and to be honest only paint.

I could not give a flip about not having a ‘job’, I have chosen the life path of an artist if the authorities want me to go work in a supermarket and stack cans of beans, that is their business. I ought to be applying to galleries and posting more stuff on platforms like this instead of wasting time trolling through job sites getting annoyed cause they all want you to be a team player and neurotypical both of which I am not.

My sister did mention I could go find work at a particular place,saying they employ dunder arses there, I think she was either joking or noticed my displeasure, cause she then said you will be smarter than the rest of them.

I looked and they have no vacancies around here.

Thinking of lack creates lack , think yourself to be skint, poor, broke then that will surely be your lot. Swap these negatives around, tell yourself you have all you need and more is coming and you have plenty, then it will be so.

I have plenty of Turpentine, the air is saturated with it.  I have plenty of paint as well, the cleaning rags are covered in the stuff and so is half my wardrobe. I lack for nothing and my cleaning jar runneth over.

It is 23 days now since I last had a drink and feel a lot o better for it as well, whether I ever drink again remains to be seen right now I am getting along with innumerable mugs of tea and J is doing the same though not perhaps so much. She is well and is out of the place where she went, we will be re-united very soon.

I really must get on and develop this site and make a gallery of recent and perhaps not so recent artwork.

 

 

Relax, and make a pot of Tea

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I have not written for a little while, I have been preoccupied doing other stuff.

Oils on paper WIP and work drying

a selection of oil based media drying out after being worked and other work drying before completion

As pretty much the whole world knows, we are in the grip of a new and potentially horrible disease, that is making lots of people unwell and sometimes killing them. it ought be remembered that diseases have been around since the time immemorial and sometimes diseases even kill people.

Just research Spanish Flu.

A few years ago, I dreamed a dream that there was a terrible plague doing the rounds and the Govt. had instructed everyone to stay home and preferably indoors. I am not certain if this applied to cats, nothing ever applies to cats does it. Anyway this dream went on as dreams do and the radio said people were dying and it was not looking so good. largely the same as things these last days and weeks.  fear is the biggest enemy and panicking is the second biggest for they go hand in hand. The panickers will strip the shops and leave the vulnerable with nothing. Just like in a disaster movie and i suspect this is the result of watching those type of films, especially for the ignorant and otherwise stupid members of society.

It is important in these troubling times to remain calm, to do as the Govt. (medical professionals) advise. take time to re-connect with family members, be creative, play board games, Turn off the TV and do the garden. Smile at your neighbours and wish them well. Speak to people (on the phone or via email) you have not spoken to for ages. Disconnect from fear and selfishness we are all in this together, even the rich and mighty amongst us get sick, fear respects no one and neither does disease. Tidy your home and go through your stuff, throw out what you don’t want anymore box it up and wait for a good day to take it to the charity store. Somebody will want your old stuff, learn to love yourself, your partner, your family members, your children that little bit more than you used to.

Easy for me to say?

The love of my life, my wife and my soulmate is currently in NY state, she is currently battling quite severe Mental health, has been very unwell of recent and has just been given the all clear for the Corona virus. However she is still unwell. We were due to have been together these last four weeks, twice we have had to cancel flights now and the pain of separation and uncertainty is unpleasant to say the least.

Turn off the TV, it only spreads fear and stops us communing with our nearest and dearest. Do the right thing and stay home. If you live alone (like me) then get on, provide structure to your day and maintain a positive attitude.IMG_20200320_132137

 

 

I was looking for a job and I lost a job.

art and culture, Autobiographical

And heaven knows I am not miserable now.  (Apologies to Morrissey)

Did I mention, I do not have a job anymore? It is nothing unusual, the workplace and I do not seem to get along very well. Indeed the longest time I have held a job down for is a little over two years. At a rough reckoning I would say the average length of time between starting and finishing is 3-4 months.  The longer lasting ones push the average up, the rest of them, bring it back down. I am best off being self employed, be my own manager. That way I can hardly sack myself, if I were to do so, I could be reinstated the next morning, or the same day. Who knows?

I am done with food, making it,selling it or having anything to do with it. (Apart from  eating it) and  most things retail can F**K OFF.  I am considering sales (of what) and want to be an artist.  I can honestly say not much else interests me. Give me something creative and worthwhile to do, a decent salary would help.

Not being in work, provides me with lots more time to study and paint. This I have to say is the best thing about being ‘unemployed’

Triphammer falls, NY state USA

Oils on paper 2019-2020

DSC_0114

OIl on paper 2020. Model unknown

 

 

 

Work and that

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

So yet another year has passed, and for that matter so has  another job/employer. This time over signing a piece of paper. It would seem’s  my happy little brain is not very good at remembering such things. Never mind the place was badly run when I started there back last October and from there it has just got worse. Where else, would you find clothing and books ending up in the fridge next to the Yogurt and Cheese?

I feel half tempted  to mention the name of the place here,but shall content myself with saying Heyford Hill. Make of it what you will.

Happier news now, I am having a spurt of growth in the creative department, and am pressing ahead with making some business out of it all. I am, if you have been visiting here regularly have realised by now I am not very good at holding down employment. Well I can barely sack myself,  can I?

I don’t want to post anything art wise on this post, this does not mean I have been lazy. Far from it, I have simply played around with camera’s enough for one day and am feeling hungry, it is after all lunch time.

Instead I thought I would share a photo my best friend/Fiance took of me a couple of day ago. We aim to get all three of the cats involved at some point.

 

81492432_10100281788767018_9012742154849615872_n

BTW Jessica is my real name, and any idea’s of my being trans should not be entertained. I just happen to enjoy wearing women’s clothes.

 

Taking good care of yourself is a good idea

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

I have not been looking after myself of recent, Tonight’s training proved that. Normally I have a high pain threshold,tonight even small blows were agony and halted me in my tracks, I had to stop and surrender to resting and being honest with myself.  I have not been sleeping either waking up at ridiculously early times with only 4-5 hours sleep and not being able to go back to sleep. Sometimes I do not sleep at all, or it seems that way.

TBH I have been drinking a little too much of recent without any let up, apart from at work. Today I have had (and still have) the worlds worst hangover. I wake up feeling stiff and sore and my left hand side is wracked with pain when I awaken. I do not want sympathy, I need TLC and plenty of personal care.

I am glad I have found the space to do some writing, as I cannot paint at the moment, maybe from the alcohol or is it the time of year and it all just pisses me off. Xmas is never the best time for me. The whole thing pee’s me off. Probably the lack of sunshine. Maybe a combination of different factors. I ought to perhaps get out and do some gardening, rake up the leaves and get some fresh air in my lungs,having spent more than enough time indoors and very little out of may well be a factor.

In other things, I still have a job. (miracle) And I have gained a little more weight. ( The garden will help deal with that) Today I tidied up the spare room and rigged up the old desktop PC as a backup for the laptop. I shall be posting some artwork soon. A friend of mine recently died, at least she is free from pain and suffering now.

WHILST LISTENING TO BRUCE

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

So since the last job fell through or should that be since the universe wanted something else of me. Actually enough has already been written about this time, So it is better to write of something else.

My efforts at looking for re-employment have been minimal half of me says go look the other half says PAINT and so it is the still quiet voice withing that is followed and the lure of an employer fails to attract me to its baited line. Call it lazy or call it whatever,painting brings me a great sense of peace and probably helps one  deal with the torments of ADHD and mental ill health even the job centre have an appreciation of these things and they know me quite well in that place so much so I may as well apply for a job there, they may even employ me.

Brandy is a highly addictive substance, my Mum warned me about it many years ago and I mentioned this to her a few days ago when I was down that neck of the woods. She promptly warned me again. I think she noticed how much I was drinking and it’s pointless denying it I drink just a little bit more than is sensible, or is the bottles are not big enough? One or the other, I have yet to establish which.

Other news, a career in the creative sector appeals to me, preferably self employed and I am applying myself diligently to this. It would be  nice to have a studio to work from or maybe I can use the greenhouse, it’s big enough for sure and has plenty of light coming in. I wonder what the cards would say to such an idea, actually I went to check a place yesterday, it’s not great but a step in the right direction for sure. teaching art to the greater community and sharing ones skills in encouraging others to be creative with paint. Yeah.

Sophia loren is a beautiful woman. However my fiance J is just that bit more so. x

54516446_10156287742396376_7911840830275452928_n

Jesus was a black man

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It is nearly the second week in my new career. I can at least say I am happier than I have been in a long time. Did I say that last time? So what if I did. I managed to drill though a pipe today. (Again)  and to top it all the hedge cutter blew up, it gave out a big bang like crack a shot of electric light and the smell of smoke. I think it is now broken.

I miss not being at work, but am enjoying the warm weather and  have been doing stuff about the garden. J is doing well, this makes me a lot happier and puts a lot of stresses to bed. I can at least sleep peacefully,even if I do need to get up at some unearthly hour to pee, I am at least sleeping properly.

FOR ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO THINK HE IS A WHITE MAN

perhaps I am drinking a little bit to much right now, but a lot less than I used to, Should I drink more tea. The administrator in the office is married to my manager.  They are both nice people and I have bruises from training.

Jesus was a black man, anything else is ridiculous.

To bury the dead is one of the corporal acts of mercy.