I was looking for a job and I thought I had found a job

And heaven knows I could be miserable now. It seems the cycle is doomed to repeat itself and the career to end my career is not that one. Again I find myself unemployed and twiddling my thumbs, this morning was pretty awful had a really black mood and was feeling most depressed. You have to look at the bright side of things and consider they only gave you three weeks annual leave and that could not be taken all at once. So that’s a real sod if you are planning on getting… Read More

Jesus was a black man

It is nearly the second week in my new career. I can at least say I am happier than I have been in a long time. Did I say that last time? So what if I did. I managed to drill though a pipe today. (Again)  and to top it all the hedge cutter blew up, it gave out a big bang like crack a shot of electric light and the smell of smoke. I think it is now broken. I miss not being at work, but am enjoying the warm weather… Read More

And from this day forward…

Today is the first day of the rest of my life and the first day of a career that I hope will see me through and past retirement and into the next life itself.

Some of this has been published elsewhere

There have been major changes since i last posted anything on here. Virtually all the naked women/porn has been removed,it looks cheap and tacky. My websites have all been amalgamated into one, making things easier to manage look after. I am out of work, actually this is a common issue, hopefully it is changing. I do not know the World record for numbers of employers in a working career, I’m sure I am pretty close to it, if not the unofficial holder. Does anybody know the real figure? I am back in… Read More

When in the States

I have been away from home for the last four weeks. No I have not been in hospital though at times I do feel that would have been a good place to go and escape to and hide and do whatever it is that people do there. That was actually more than four weeks ago and at times i felt so mixed up I was unsure what was going on, so I wrote about shotgun cartridges instead. The tablets are I think helping, maybe even the drink. Though the amounts I have… Read More

The joys of childhood

This has nothing to do with Mental Ill health. When I was about fourteen years old, probably during the Summer holiday it is not so easy to remember now as it was rather a long time ago and time seemed to move much more slowly then.  It all most likely took place over a few weeks,  instead of months but I do recall the weather as being nice, so it must have been Summer. My best mate at the time was the Dr’s son from over the road, I am not going… Read More

Childhood and the church

The time has come for a change from speaking about mental health, anxiety and that sort of thing. I feel the time has come to write a little about the past. The past affects us in different ways but one thing is for certain, it is the reason why we are in the positions we are in now. Or at least that is the theory and what they love to tell you at school and in other places as well. So when I was a youngster, I was being raised as a… Read More

Onwards and upwards

It has been eight days now since I started the medication and eight days since I last drank any alcohol, It is a nice feeling not drinking and the fruit juice is a lot healthier. I have not given up the drink entirely, I was gifted a bottle of nice Red for Christmas and there is a bottle of Cointreau which I bought on a whim a couple of weeks or so ago. They are both in the cupboard safe for another day. The anxiety is almost under control, though it is… Read More

Merry Christmas (xmas is over)

So Christmas is over and all the decorations (what little there were) have been boxed up and ready to go in the attic for another year. The cats had the “tree” last night and that kind of encouraged things otherwise I would only have put it away this evening and not this morning. A family member has been badgering me to go down their neck of the woods offering all sorts of false incentives and completely ignoring the fact  which has been explained to them that I do not actually want to… Read More

Anxiety on Christmas day

This year I am spending Christmas largely by myself partly by choice partly by circumstance. Other family members  are all doing their own thing and it is easier to simply stay home. With the way I have been feeling of late it has sometimes been difficult to do anything, even the small things like going to the shops has been nightmarish, so driving for miles and miles for lunch … is just overly daunting. I like this anxiety as much as I like the time of year and thinking that days are… Read More