The last few weeks, have been somewhat busy. With a lot of that time being spent with people I have not seen in a long while. A lot of that time, has been spent outside, in the garden. Chilling, relaxing and watching the fire burn. The flames dance and where the sparks are going to land. The rest of it has been spent sat on the terrace chatting, chilling and having an easy time together. Unfortunately our neighbours have a diabolically shit taste in music, That is if you can call it music. I think noise is probably more accurate and that noise is repetitive, toneless and makes one feel ill. ideally I would like to destroy the machine, that plays this stuff and the adverts that come with it. Yes adverts as well, FFS I worked in advertising for long enough. I do not need more of that stuff.
Does anybody really, truly believe that our dear leader has his hands on the reins, that he knows what is going on and which direction his horse is travelling? Does anybody else think, he was the pig that got fucked by David Cameron, and that he was passed around like at a children’s party. Pass the Piggy, instead of pass the parcel, sorry arsehole. He is currently in Cornwall at a G& summit, stuffing his fat Old Etonian face on Caviar, I sincerely hope he chokes on the stuff, it will do him and the rest of the world some serious good if he does. I do not like this new WP layout, it makes it all too easy to delete stuff and retrieving it, is nigh on impossible. The old version, though clumsy at times, was navigable and easy to use.
What else is there, that can be written about and possibly cause some kind of offence? Taking the knee at football matches, the pity is I do not watch football, it is excruciatingly boring and comprised of idiots who can barely sign their names, getting paid too much for doing so and with shite awful taste in everything. Does anyone actually give a toss about those bloody WAGS, that follow them around? Just why are people so obsessed with reality Television and celebrities? Somebody please tell me why, before this thing I am using decides to delete stuff again.
I suppose posting pornographic stories on here may not go down so well. So I shall have to put them elsewhere.
So today and the last few days. I have been completing my exams for this year and am now doing other stuff. Today I bought six Goldfish and put them into the pond. They seem happy enough, they interesting viewing. There are four who stay together in a bunch. One appears to be very brave and goes exploring ahead The last one hides somewhere. I got a big sack of manure and fed the roses and generally did stuff around the garden. A few days ago I was being careless and not looking what I was doing, or for that matter. Not looking where I was going , or putting my feet. The ground/grass gave way and I fell into the pond. Receiving a big scratch on my back for my efforts. The water was cold, it gave a nasty shock and the lawnmower was lucky not to join me.
We have several bird families living in the garden. Blackbirds, Blue tits. Pigeons and magpies come regularly. I think the cats may find it frustrating, But they are not allowed to catch birds. Or at least that is the rule. Fox is much better than he was, he stays at home more now. What else? the terrace, kitchen and back room hall all been scrubbed clean and are gleaming. Thank you D, your help is much appreciated, as is your company. There is probably plenty more to write about, I am not going to do it now. maybe later or elsewhere.
So today and probably the next couple of days, I shall be kicking out a load of old artwork. Stuff that I either think is terrible or has simply been here long enough. I want to gain some space back, clear out old energy and establish anew. If you want any of it, then best advice is check a charity shop in Oxford and you may well just find something, alternately you can check through the website and lay claim by mailing me or leaving a comment.
So despite the wound clearing up, the vet giving the all clear and all the rest of that jazz. Things opened up again and a great load of green gack oozed out of what was a nicely scabbed over and clearing up sore patch. It looked like a gigantic green slug, minus the horns, though I would not be surprised to see a pair of them in the future. Too say I am at my wits end would be an understatement. I would be pulling my hair out, if I thought it would do any good and I alcohol would be a proper waste of time… We have a vet appointment this afternoon and I am kind of taking a tight grip on reality right now. Is it time to let him go, or does he stay. If this injury was mine, size for size, I would be moaning like a bitch. The cat, Mr fox is more stoical than that, though he does growl a bit at the moment and looks rather sulky. I do have to remember the vet warned me that wounds of this nature, can be a sod to heal, I would be a stupid sod to argue otherwise.
So that’s that off of my chest, do I feel better for offloading like that? No not really, but it might help a little bit at some point. I admit i busted into tears a short while ago at the prospect of loosing the little man. But you know something, change is inevitable, irresistible and inevitable. There is no stopping it or controlling when that change will happen. so it is pointless resisting the inevitable awfulness of what must happen. It has to be embraced and acknowledged. I do not think I could do the job of a vet. I am not brave or kind enough for such stuff. I think it would kill me, or me myself. then what use would I be. Nothing.
In the meantime, I am waiting for the lawn to dry out as I want to mow it. Trimming the hedge would also be a welcome distraction. In the meantime i think I shall paint a Toadstool, or at least part of a toadstool. I dislike doing things with electricity in the wet and damp. Do I need to explain why? As for everything else, I am lucky to have J listening at the other end of the line and other good friends around me who will lend a supporting ear or whatever other part of their anatomy is available. I think shoulders are quite popular at this sort of time. A friend of mine once said in times of darkness think of light, think of love and of life. Right now that is actually easy, but not that easy. It fact it is turning out to be fucking hard. My head feels like it is full of I don’t know what. I can feel my temper flaring just that little bit more than it needs to. Could it be I am a little bit stressed right now?
So J went back to the US back on the 12th and the day before that the cat took sick. Happily the cat is well on the road to recovery, Jackie has got a permanent residence and the vet bills required me to change my plans for the month and spend the lot on Mr. Fox ( The cat) I have never been happier to spend so much on anyone in my entire life. he had an abscess, that was pressing on his spine and must have been causing excruciating amounts of discomfort. Long story short, the thing burst, closed up, reopened and oozed lots of thick green ‘snot’. The secondary infection was due to his getting outside and going on an all-nighter. Operation, stitches and being indoors is probably getting him by now, especially as the weather is nice again. I take him out a few times a day, making sure to hold him and prevent any mad dash for freedom he may make. Though what with a cone/collar thing on I doubt he will get too far.
J and I are now simply friends, we have different priorities to each other and we each must steer our own course. It is no good us being in the same ship anymore. I imagine our paths will cross again in the future. Though I imagine not least until the Covid business has cleared off and we are given something new to worry ourselves over. What else? Oh yes I have run out of weed. Years ago this would have caused a huge amount of distraction and concern. Today I could not care less and shall enjoy cleaning my act up a little bit. Smoking fogged my mind and did not allow for clear thinking, which hindered study, which caused anxiety issues neither of which I currently need. My painting has resumed, new ideas are flourishing and I am happy.
I hope to be getting back onto the blog more often now things have calmed down a little bit. I also want to be working on the website and promoting my work a little bit more. I shall also be applying for some kind of employment soon. Something simple, stress free and enjoyable. I do not think it will involve wearing a tie. It may allow me to get away with wearing a skirt, being more relaxed and informal.
I really wanted to write about porn, sex and jiggy jiggy today, but The Irish Land War sounds far more interesting. It entices, and cries out with its ecstatic moans of equality, absentee landlords and land clearances. The enticing images of evictions and people living in hedges, because their homes have been torn down. Draw me away from staring at bosoms, busts and butt cheeks. Blood engorged labia and swollen, moist Vulvae do not interest me a jot, I want to read about the Irish Land League and their fights with Parliament and Mr. Gladstone. It is usual to find one has a greater amount of interest in one topic than another one. There is nothing interesting in watching paint dry, but there is, in choosing the paint you wish to use, is it suitable for the area, you are decorating? There are a whole bunch of over factors you may wish to take into Consideration. And it is important to make the right decisions based on sound judgement and acquired knowledge.
Why choose the rightly justified arguments of The Irish over porn? That way, I can get ahead in my studies and not put myself under any undue pressure. As a result of these actions, I now have the introduction complete. It means I shall be starting to write about porn. (in greater detail) on another channel, where I do feel the need to mention grain prices in late Nineteenth century Ireland. I would tell you, but the information is not directly to hand. Anyway I am watching a movie in between takes on writing this.
Finally writing articles directly into wordpress can see stuff getting lost forever. I am now starting to write more in a Word Processor instead, then copy and paste it later. It also means I have an automatic backup of all my work. I do currently run another site here, it is mainly about art and creativity. |Sometimes like this one, it can delve into gardening and not come out for a couple of days. It also features quite a lot more art there. I shall be writing more on The Irish Land War and other subjects, with luck, they will become available online here and in other places as appropriate. It will encourage me to write and improve my PC skills too.
The last few days have been spent digging up bits of the garden, planting stuff and making a couple of bonfires in the wheel barrow. I have also been drinking too much and am now paying the consequences for my actions. The garden is helping and so is abstinence, which is much easier when you do not have outside influences urging you to go and buy the stuff. To be honest, the stuff does not work the way I want it to anymore and it is clear I need a big long break from the stuff.
That I am happy will become all the easier in the next couple of weeks. The other influences will be gone and I can focus full time on the mending process. The last few months, have been a bit on the stressful side, for both of us and if there is anything I have learnt. It is that I prefer my own company (cats excluded) and am not entirely enamoured, with sharing my home, with other members of the human race. This may sound an awful thing to say, but it is true, denying it would be foolish and only cause more trouble.
I shall enjoy having the house back to myself, there is no doubt in that. I have plenty to keep me busy and the cats are always there to ignore me if things get rough. In the meantime, we are planning a few days out and making use of, the time we have left together. The grey cat, cornered our youngest today, resulting in a lot of squalling. I am aiming to settle that creatures hash, at the nearest opportunity, my reason? It pisses on my flower beds and upsets the children.
Whilst in the midst of not looking for work. (Something I am not very good at) and studying (which needs improvement) I have been dropping by garden centres and the like and getting things in the ground for the new season. Other than that, contemplating empty hanging baskets and mending the cat, not much has taken place. Now the weather is nice, I am spending a bit more time out on the bicycle. I need the fresh air, space and exercise, it helps clear out my chest and lungs to. You see there is or at least was some unwanted matter there. It’s not the Covid, probably more just dust and stuff. Anyway I felt a lot better for my ride out into town the other day. Spring time being here, it is probably a good time to get out, and taking more fresh air, getting fit again.
I was going to write about a foul medical doc. I watched the other evening. Happily it has been lost forever, instead I shall write about something else. Not gardening though, every other thing on this page must look like it is to do with gardening. It just seems more interesting than house work and clearing up behind the Children. (Cats) Trust me, there is nothing exciting about what those wretched animals do or leave behind, expecting someone else to clean up behind them. They are lazy, demanding and for two of them… Vocal. However I would not swap them for anything, and they will always come first. What else is there,? Not much to be honest, it has been a remarkably uneventful few days here. Most of my time has been spent gardening, studying and or painting. The rest of it, well day dreaming and that kind of thing. Not worrying my head if I do not need to and spending more time in the here and now than previously.
It is high time, I checked to see if the Stylus has arrived, after that I am going to do some more school work and read about the deprivation in London in the late Nineteenth century.
Today is going to be spent doing a few things around the place. I have a pond to measure up, a course of lessons on Russian history to put together and I may well go for a cycle ride and get me a bottle of Stout. It is St. Patricks day after all and being a good Irishman it would be rude not to. otherwise things here are going pretty good, met a couple of friends I have not seen in a while yesterday. in one case around fifteen years, they have not changed a bit. It is gladdening to see these recent travails what with the Convid have not affected them. Everybody is still bright eyed and bushy tailed and still possessed of their usual good humour. The old pond has found a new home and I have been asked to lend some gardening advice, which is great cause as I have a glut of tomato’s and other plants coming on.
After writing this, I am going to go do a bit of gardening and burn off some excess energy being creative and all that. I also feel like going to the garden centre, but you know something, these are dangerous places if you have a bank card with you. It is probably easier just to do some tidying up instead and make the place look nice. In due course, I shall be looking at getting some fish for the pond and work on creating a bog garden of some sort, if it is at all practicable. The idea of Newts, Frogs and creatures of a similar ilk pleases me immensely and having them in the garden even more so.
What else? Oh yes of course, I am celebrating today, not because it is St. Patricks day, but because I am single man again. Even better I shall soon have the house back to myself and even though that may sound a little selfish, it will be most liberating. The idea of being able to do my own thing at whatever time and making as much noise as I want cheers me immensely. Firstly I must start watching my eating habits, and dealing with stress more effectively, the first is easy, the second just as so. It is simply a matter of acknowledging the causes and then dealing with them in an effective and timely manner. The weather looks a little overcast and I currently have a cat sat over on my shoulders. It is a long time since he last sat here and he is a great comfort.
Whilst the sun shines outside, I am compelled to read and to write on the Industrial decline in the late 19th century, compared to the bit about Empire, it is a little tedious, dealing more with figures than massacres and competition from foreigners more than foreigner bashing. Oh how this countries imperial past has faded. To be honest it was never particularly radiant to begin with, with most of our crowned heads having been despotic sociopathic idiots. Just like our elected politicians, who are dishonest at best and bloody liars at their worst. The trouble is people actually believe them, then vote for the wretches every four/five years, thinking stuff will change. Does a leopard change his spots? Neither does the government.
It is a howling gale outside today, but the sun is shining and that is good. It makes a vast improvement on yesterdays dam grey stuff. When the weather is nice, I like to get out and plant things, today it was the turn of the Hyacinths. I really want to plant those things from the greenhouse, I also want to chop back the hedge. I chopped some hedge and it started to rain and rather than get the electrics wet, I put everything away again. Gardening is an enjoyable activity at any time, the opportunities for creativity are almost boundless.
J has had a nagging migraine all day today and probably last night as well. I am lucky, I have never had one of these things. Whilst she has been resting up I have been writing my resumé and pulling the HiFi system out of the attic, the next task will be to start pulling out furniture, playing around with wires and cables and setting it all up. Hopefully I can eliminate the howl from the record deck this time.