A TRUE STORY ABOUT GETTING DRUNK

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

This article is about Alcohol and the effects it has on the male teenage brain. It may get quite graphic so if you are of a sensitive disposition, please read on.

I only remember the beginning of this story and it’s subsequent aftermath. The bit in the middle was given to me by various third parties with whom I was at school with when it all happened.

My old school was a boarding school, a fine English public school (the sort where you pay to be educated) One of the perks we had was being allowed out of school bounds at weekends to go into the local town and socialise. In other words get drunk. It was around Mid October and an acquaintance  was celebrating his birthday and wanted to do something special to mark this happy day. It being a Saturday, and boring it was decided the best thing would be to go Midsomer N (The local town) and get drunk. Just like most weekends actually, Bath being the other option.  there were four of us the birthday boy who shall be referred to as B. A Spanish guy called M  and then there was C.  Another person declined, he said at the time he thought something awful would happen. He was right.

This is the point where the story becomes unclear. All I know we bought the drink and went out on top of the old slag heap. I remember a bottle of Coconut and Rum based drink in a white bottle. A bottle of nice Red I had pinched from my Dads wine cellar. I still have a morbid dislike of Coconut’s and their odour to this day. The Bottle of Red was Spanish and probably quite expensive. There would have been other drink as well. Most likely Whisky and Beer.

I do know we sang Happy Birthday as per tradition, we also sang it in French, though probably not very well. With writing My memories of this day seem to be coming back to me. Maybe there is a healing taking place here. I always recall C as being squeamish, it was not hard to make him gag and I do recall wanting to go toilet, I squatted behind a tree and probably used Pine needles. (gross, but necessary) The next bit? The turd was impaled on a stick and I chased my fellows around the summit of the heap. C went Green and gagged and the toilet got spread around a bit. I ought to mention here that my sense of humour can be somewhat inappropriate. Or at least used to be, it’s nice to think I have grown up a little bit since then.

I seem to recall some of the locals and their motorbike and C attempting to ride it. Something about loosing the clutch handle that rendered the thing useless and the owners being annoyed. This is what I recall and partly what was said to me later.

I do not remember running down the side of the heap and pulling a moony at a couple of Policemen. If you do not know what a moony is, it is the exposing of ones naked backside to some unsuspecting individuals or group of people. I guess choosing a pair of coppers was a bad idea. As was vomiting on their boots,  the same could be said for telling one or both of them to. “Fuck off Pork.” When they tried to pick me up.

According to the other witnesses the police wanted to take me in or at least back to the school, which being very noble and proper minded would probably have resulted in all sorts of bother. Anyway the offer was declined reasons being it would cause all manner of trouble, expulsions and that sort of thing. I would like to apologise at this point to A, M and C for the trouble this adventure must have caused. I have no idea how they got me home, but I did hear the  driver refused to take the unconscious, vomit covered public school boy, on his bus. So I guess they must have dragged/ carried me back ‘home.’ A distance of about 3 miles, it must have been nightmarish.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was looking for a job and I lost a job.

art and culture, Autobiographical

And heaven knows I am not miserable now.  (Apologies to Morrissey)

Did I mention, I do not have a job anymore? It is nothing unusual, the workplace and I do not seem to get along very well. Indeed the longest time I have held a job down for is a little over two years. At a rough reckoning I would say the average length of time between starting and finishing is 3-4 months.  The longer lasting ones push the average up, the rest of them, bring it back down. I am best off being self employed, be my own manager. That way I can hardly sack myself, if I were to do so, I could be reinstated the next morning, or the same day. Who knows?

I am done with food, making it,selling it or having anything to do with it. (Apart from  eating it) and  most things retail can F**K OFF.  I am considering sales (of what) and want to be an artist.  I can honestly say not much else interests me. Give me something creative and worthwhile to do, a decent salary would help.

Not being in work, provides me with lots more time to study and paint. This I have to say is the best thing about being ‘unemployed’

Triphammer falls, NY state USA

Oils on paper 2019-2020

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OIl on paper 2020. Model unknown

 

 

 

Work and that

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

So yet another year has passed, and for that matter so has  another job/employer. This time over signing a piece of paper. It would seem’s  my happy little brain is not very good at remembering such things. Never mind the place was badly run when I started there back last October and from there it has just got worse. Where else, would you find clothing and books ending up in the fridge next to the Yogurt and Cheese?

I feel half tempted  to mention the name of the place here,but shall content myself with saying Heyford Hill. Make of it what you will.

Happier news now, I am having a spurt of growth in the creative department, and am pressing ahead with making some business out of it all. I am, if you have been visiting here regularly have realised by now I am not very good at holding down employment. Well I can barely sack myself,  can I?

I don’t want to post anything art wise on this post, this does not mean I have been lazy. Far from it, I have simply played around with camera’s enough for one day and am feeling hungry, it is after all lunch time.

Instead I thought I would share a photo my best friend/Fiance took of me a couple of day ago. We aim to get all three of the cats involved at some point.

 

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BTW Jessica is my real name, and any idea’s of my being trans should not be entertained. I just happen to enjoy wearing women’s clothes.

 

Taking good care of yourself is a good idea

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

I have not been looking after myself of recent, Tonight’s training proved that. Normally I have a high pain threshold,tonight even small blows were agony and halted me in my tracks, I had to stop and surrender to resting and being honest with myself.  I have not been sleeping either waking up at ridiculously early times with only 4-5 hours sleep and not being able to go back to sleep. Sometimes I do not sleep at all, or it seems that way.

TBH I have been drinking a little too much of recent without any let up, apart from at work. Today I have had (and still have) the worlds worst hangover. I wake up feeling stiff and sore and my left hand side is wracked with pain when I awaken. I do not want sympathy, I need TLC and plenty of personal care.

I am glad I have found the space to do some writing, as I cannot paint at the moment, maybe from the alcohol or is it the time of year and it all just pisses me off. Xmas is never the best time for me. The whole thing pee’s me off. Probably the lack of sunshine. Maybe a combination of different factors. I ought to perhaps get out and do some gardening, rake up the leaves and get some fresh air in my lungs,having spent more than enough time indoors and very little out of may well be a factor.

In other things, I still have a job. (miracle) And I have gained a little more weight. ( The garden will help deal with that) Today I tidied up the spare room and rigged up the old desktop PC as a backup for the laptop. I shall be posting some artwork soon. A friend of mine recently died, at least she is free from pain and suffering now.

WHILST LISTENING TO BRUCE

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

So since the last job fell through or should that be since the universe wanted something else of me. Actually enough has already been written about this time, So it is better to write of something else.

My efforts at looking for re-employment have been minimal half of me says go look the other half says PAINT and so it is the still quiet voice withing that is followed and the lure of an employer fails to attract me to its baited line. Call it lazy or call it whatever,painting brings me a great sense of peace and probably helps one  deal with the torments of ADHD and mental ill health even the job centre have an appreciation of these things and they know me quite well in that place so much so I may as well apply for a job there, they may even employ me.

Brandy is a highly addictive substance, my Mum warned me about it many years ago and I mentioned this to her a few days ago when I was down that neck of the woods. She promptly warned me again. I think she noticed how much I was drinking and it’s pointless denying it I drink just a little bit more than is sensible, or is the bottles are not big enough? One or the other, I have yet to establish which.

Other news, a career in the creative sector appeals to me, preferably self employed and I am applying myself diligently to this. It would be  nice to have a studio to work from or maybe I can use the greenhouse, it’s big enough for sure and has plenty of light coming in. I wonder what the cards would say to such an idea, actually I went to check a place yesterday, it’s not great but a step in the right direction for sure. teaching art to the greater community and sharing ones skills in encouraging others to be creative with paint. Yeah.

Sophia loren is a beautiful woman. However my fiance J is just that bit more so. x

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I was looking for a job and I thought I had found a job

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

And heaven knows I could be miserable now.

It seems the cycle is doomed to repeat itself and the career to end my career is not that one. Again I find myself unemployed and twiddling my thumbs, this morning was pretty awful had a really black mood and was feeling most depressed. You have to look at the bright side of things and consider they only gave you three weeks annual leave and that could not be taken all at once. So that’s a real sod if you are planning on getting married and taking your lovely wife to be on a honeymoon somewhere and planning to help your Father in law repair the house, because you said you would and it’s a way of getting to know the him better.

This and other things I have been brooding over for a little while and the answer has been provided. So should I be happy or should I be sad. and I’m not happy and I’m not sad. At least I have discovered I like doing admin.

I have this unfortunate habit of telling people what I really think and it comes to the fore when I have been drinking. The hotel we were put in last week was a glitter covered turd.  Bugger all in the way of vegetarian food, and that was below par, the beds were rock hard… I was going to complain I cannot now be bothered.

I have been listening to the Smiths and Morrissey a lot of recent, can you tell?

I always thought the smell of that Formaldehyde or whatever they use gets up my nose and did not want to leave. I am glad to leave it behind, though I am curious about the pink stuff in that jar in the cupboard.

And from this day forward…

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

After 25+ years in a career that drove me up the wall and created such discord and unhappiness, that death would have been a pleasant alternative. (How Ironic) I have started out on a new career.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life and the first day of a career that I hope will see me through and past retirement and into the next life itself. Though that last bit will be someone else’s task. Today was spent, reading, learning  and re-reading material and meeting and speaking to nice kind hearted people from whom you can see their inner light shining brighter than the noon day sun.

It takes all sorts to perform the role I have chosen as my end profession. Many stories , many  reasons. all united by one common factor. To serve. And as Bob Dylan wrote:

“you gotta serve somebody.”

It is what is known as an honourable profession. And after years of going from pillar to post with a thousand dead ends, I have now found the way to the final RV.

I am lucky in having a very supportive fiance. She says she likes a man in uniform, though I will never be a Policeman and am too old for the army. Instead I now wear a dark suit and tie. I must remember to polish my shoes.

 

Some of this has been published elsewhere

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

There have been major changes since i last posted anything on here. Virtually all the naked women/porn has been removed,it looks cheap and tacky. My websites have all been amalgamated into one, making things easier to manage look after. I am out of work, actually this is a common issue, hopefully it is changing. I do not know the World record for numbers of employers in a working career, I’m sure I am pretty close to it, if not the unofficial holder. Does anybody know the real figure?

I am back in the Mother country now, the weather is windy and alternates between sunshine and rain. A bit like my mental health. The cats are all well and as demanding as they ever were, they seem to smell a bit, seeing as I have been away and cat free for so long. Has anybody else experienced this?

J and I speak everyday, several times a day actually we are missing each other horribly, but it spurs us on to bring our lives together faster and more permanently. I went for an interview a few days ago, it was a little nerve wracking, stepping out of my comfort zone and into an unknown environment. I am leaving retail behind it was making me sick, the anxiety issues were getting stupid to the point where I was frightened of leaving the house, in case I flipped and clobbered someone. The tablets are still working, The drinking has calmed down and makes me quite sleepy with even a “little”. I am sleeping properly.

220px-Beethoven

I aim to do something creative today or  even a couple of things. I have some ideas and things are beginning to take form. I have been inspired by some of the waterfalls in the Tompkins County/Ithaca area of NY State. I would like like to paint them “En Plein air.” at some juncture. I have deferred from Uni until October, to give myself time to get better. They are going to give me extra support and that, which is nice.

The sun is shining, it looks to be a nice day…. Coffee.

The joys of childhood

Autobiographical, Uncategorized

This has nothing to do with Mental Ill health.

When I was about fourteen years old, probably during the Summer holiday it is not so easy to remember now as it was rather a long time ago and time seemed to move much more slowly then.  It all most likely took place over a few weeks,  instead of months but I do recall the weather as being nice, so it must have been Summer.

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My best mate at the time was the Dr’s son from over the road, I am not going to mention his name here, and shall refer to him as D. We did many things together D and I, some of it not very nice, a lot of it very good fun and perhaps quite reckless.

The people who lived opposite to him used to be involved as well there two brothers I do not recall their names  so shall refer to them as X and Y.  D actually lived opposite to me  but that did not stop him being my neighbour, even though my sister said they could not be neighbours cause of the position of their house… I could hardly call them the opposites, it sounded kind of rude, so neighbours they stayed.

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I don’t recall how it started but we came across the shotgun cartridges both our families used to shoot wild animals either for pleasure or for pest control, I think they must have been in the top of the cupboard or something, nothing was ever locked up then. Unlike today. How we got the idea into our heads is beyond me, though it was probably mine. b We thought it a good idea to pull these things apart take out the constituent parts and make bombs which actually turned out to be easier than expected.  We used a flat bladed screwdriver to wriggle open the folds at the top of the cartridge’s emptied out the shot, which ended up in a jar. Opened up the thing further took out the wadding and collected the powder into another jar for safe keeping.

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I have no idea, how many times we did this however I do recall making more than enough explosive devices or just lighting the stuff in the air raid shelter and sniffing the smoke like ancient alchemists. All of our dissections took place in the shelter, the bomb testing took place out in the woods which abutted onto the large garden we had.

A piece of Copper tube became a cannon, by bunging up one end with Blue Tack and banging a hole in tube itself with a hammer and nail so we could light the thing.  Pour the Gunpowder in, with use of a plastic funnel, tap it down with a stick and pour some lead shot in on top, toss a coin to see who would light it and retire to a safe distance.

ALL IN THE DAYS BEFORE HEALTH AND SAFETY

I do not recall anybody getting injured or hurt in any way, however we did get found out, our bomb testing facility in the woods was not exactly that well hidden and the loud bangs attracted other people’s attention with some Buzzard noticing the cartridges were disappearing. People made a terrible fuss, that we could have blown ourselves up, killed ourselves etc. except we hadn’t.  D and I got banned from seeing each other and we had to make amends for our errant behaviour.  X and Y did not really have much to do with  our activities, except keep watch at the mouth of the shelter for adults and watch things burn or go bang.