You ought to be an adult 18+ to read this

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If I have not mentioned it before, I have given up on painting. That is until I feel suitably inspired to do something new. Basically I have got myself into a rut, have reached an impasse and need a change of scenery. That is in part why I am writing, it provides a bit of clear water in which to come up to breathe. Gets me out of the corner downstairs sitting on the hard chair and procrastinating. Up here in the study, I can listen to documentaries and write at the same time, I have a comfy chair and it is warmer up here. The energy is different, more abundant and free flowing. There is no stink of oil paint , or the pong of turps I have no brushes to clean up either, but I ought to clean up my language.

That is why I am going to post a story or at least part of that story. Back in April I think, I was inspired enough to write a pornographic story. Actually I wrote several but this is the first one:

Jessica is a well educated young woman from Nottingham and she is recently out of work. Having been laid off due to the Covid that has resulted in many people having to stay or work at home. Jessica has rent to pay, credit cards to clear and the gas needs topping up for the week. The trouble is Jessica is skint, she has sod all income and is now eating into her savings. This is not what she planned out for and it irks her. 

Recently a friend told her how she was making money on one of them webcam websites, where people will pay to watch you  take your knickers down and play with yourself. It’s not ideal, Jessica mused but it could make money and I like masturbating in any case and money too.   She fiddled nervously as she entered her details on the website’s portal and thought of all the filthy perverts who will be watching her undress and play with her vagina. She feels sleazy and at the same time, incredibly horny. Sister Theresa the nun from her convent education, would have been livid at such an idea. Jessica was sure Sister had been a lesbian, with her huge bust and muscled arms. Tall, Statuesque and imposing and more catholic than the pope. Many of the girls in J’s group were in awe of her and some including J even found her rather sexy. Especially when she was taking them for sport and or swimming class. Fantasies abounded in that school about Sister T and what she wore. Some speculated lingerie and black lacey stuff. Others entertained she was in a lesbian relationship with the hockey coach.

As Jessica sorted out her new webcam and arranged the room as tidily as possible. She pondered over what she was going to do in her show, what she would do and not do. She so wanted to bend over in Doggy style  and slide that big red dildo into her cunny and bring herself to a shuddering orgasm. The bed would be the best place for that, all she would need was a simple home security and webcam set up. The whole idea  started to prove irresistible and she made a mental note to look at what was available. As she explored the website , she noticed all the other performers Noting that many came from countries like Colombia and Mexico, where people did not have much. Resulting in their offering far more than just straight sex.

I have written extensively on sex, webcams and a host of other like subjects over the years. Some of it is born from experience the rest comes from a creative imagination. The characters are made up, though the names might mean something personally. Anyway, other news now. My friend J is doing well, she has a nice place to live and is thriving. Ninja the cat has been bathed and the vine has been bought, ready to be transferred to a large planter in the green house. I hope to grow grapes.

The black cat is sleeping

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When I left home this morning, Lulu my cat was asleep on the desk. Getting home about an hour later she still is, having barely moved an inch. She is lazy, black and totally adorable. The people who live to the right of me are also black, have a dreadful taste in music listening to a genre that equates to processed noise repeated, ad nauseam. I got more than a little miffed last night and gave them serious verbal for the rubbish that was blaring out, way after hours. Next time it happens I think I may go and bang on their door, making my objections known that way instead. Either that or a dead rat nailed to the door. The pigs head is too much hassle to get hold of.

My trip to the local job fair was thwarted today by discovering I did not have my keys. The security guard at the venue could not store my bike, so I came home again. I have done enough in the way of job hunting this week in any case. I can write and perhaps do the garden instead. I want to plant a vine in the greenhouse, but first I have to buy the vine and create a happy environment for it to thrive in. This I am doing now, the internet is a place to learn all sorts of new things. Though personally I prefer looking in books, they are less confusing and generally have more accurate and concise information. Plus books benefit from being read, rather like cats benefit from being stroked. Humans strangely enough can benefit from reading books and stroking a cat has been proven to reduce peoples stress levels. Cats will, if given a chance sit on a pile of books and stare at you, challenging you to move them. Books will sit there challenging you to turn off the google machine and pick them up. Mosquito bites will on the other hand, drive you to distraction. Itch their way halfway around the world and drive you up the wall. Mosquitoes are awful creatures and ought be exterminated. Mosquito genocide sounds quite a good idea, but where would it stop? Frogs and other creatures would naturally protest in their way, Malaria and Yellow Fever would no longer keep populations in check. The bug repellent industry would take a hammering, perhaps its easier to keep the little bastards, they are here for a purpose after all. Just like the Human creatures that are in fact a whole lot worse.

Thou shalt not kill, sayeth the commandment. Does that mean we must not squash annoying insects that spread illness and disease, or ought we learn to live as better humans first? If we stopped having wars, ditched religion and a couple of other things, we might finally after a lengthy delay, create a better world to live in. The slaughterhouse is simply an extension of the battlefield, both are necessary evils until such a time as that we learn to live in peace, not only with other people, but with ourselves especially. The Mozzie that got me a couple of days ago was lucky, it lived to tell the tale. The next thing that aggrieves me, may not be so lucky. Two legs or many, I may just flatten the f*cker.

Sin and confession

Autobiographical

As many of you may know, I was raised in the Roman Catholic Church, an organisation that thinks sperm is sacred and their clergymen are not allowed to marry. We also have this sacrament called confession where we have to tell the priest our shit, like stealing our dad’s booze and looking at porno mags. This could also include behaviour like masturbation and things like having sex and enjoying yourself and or not going to church. Did I mention telling lies, smoking cigarettes and playing cards? Well they could be added in as well. In return the priest would give us a reward of lets say ten Hail Mary’s, six Glory Bee’s and a bunch of Our Fathers. It all depended on what you had ‘fessed up to. Perhaps it would depend on how the priest was feeling, I don’t know.

Many years ago I had been caught dancing with myself and my Mum in her religious fervour sent me off to see the priest. He was a dirty looking scare crow of a man and there was a bottle of Glenfiddich clearly visible on his counter top. I guess somebody thought it would loosen my tongue and provide a good confession. It certainly did, I like Whisky and I span him a whole bunch of lies instead, the joke was I did not care for religion by this time and sneezed at the idea and concept of confession. However I was living at home and my youngish mind, thought it a good idea to comply. Well to cut a story short I span him a load of stuff that would make a Madame blush, I swear the old pervert had a lip trembler going, he stank of booze and his blood shot eyes were horrid, as were his shaking hands. I think Half of that bottle disappeared in the couple of hours I was there, it was near Christmas and was piss cold outside. I have forgotten the penance he gave me, though I do remember not doing any of it.

If I was not sceptical of priests and religion before that point, I was afterwards and still am. More on that later on. I have recently been inspired to dig out some old artwork and share it again, I don’t think I have mentioned getting rid of a load of work a few weeks ago.

I am quite pleased with myself this evening, I have managed to leave the alcohol alone, despite their being a bottle of cider in the fridge. My cart Ninjas had the Scabies/Mange and is recovering well. He has been depressed and does not like being bathed and covered in ointment. Mr. Fox on the other hand, has been noticeable by his absence. I hope he comes home very soon. I love him.

RIP Charlie Watts

politics and religion

I have been sitting around, twiddling my thumbs and letting good ideas go to waste these last few weeks. So as a result I thought it a good to stop painting at least for a little while and write instead. It makes more sense than being peed off at a lack of productivity and or creative output, the garden is part of that, but is largely eyes only, a place to hide in and have peace away from the world. That is why I help my mate dig out his allotment and prepare for a new growing season, it also keeps us both fit and to create another place of serenity and peace as well.

The weather is being nice again, it is warm and though the nights are drawing in, there is still plenty of light in the evening to garden and to plan out the land for the future. Many people are concerned about the lack of goods on the shelves, growing your own may help (in part at least) Others are concerned about the Covid and its many variants. Certainly more and more employers are insisting that staff get jabbed up, yet the govt. (Do you trust them) are now talking about booster shots, will their nonsense and fear mongering ever stop? Or is that the Medias task. talking about the media, do you know where that word comes from?

Medea, con los hijos muertos, huye de Corinto en un carro tirado por dragones (Museo del Prado).jpg

Medea was a sorceress from Greek myth, the daughter of King Aeetes of Colchis and a niece of Circe. Strangely enough, another sorceress, who appears in the Odyssey, the Ulysee’s journey home from Troy. Anyway she was known as a sorceress and for hypnotising and otherwise manipulating people through devious means. Have you noticed how the media does the same sort of thing, frightening people with stores of disease, horror, war, famine and Dog knows what else. Conspiracy mongers even suggest that the media and govt. work hand in hand to manipulate and cow people into submission and paranoia. They may well be right, certainly there is so much in society these days, that it makes you think a little bit. The media also makes you stupid, through brain dead television and magazine publications. Have you watched the box recently, what did you last watch? Or more accurately, what do the listings offer? Celebrity, reality tv and soap opera’s. Little or nothing of use or knowledgeable to the human mind or spirit. Is sport actually that interesting, it is certainly a great waste of time, especially watching it.

There are a thousand better things to do than watch sport, handing your money to bloated billionaires who do not give a fuck for you or your families. They care about money and having more of it. They want you to be sat in front of the box watching overpaid idiots kicking a bag of wind around a field, distracting you from the amount of shit they are wreaking upon the world. They want you to divide yourselves into different camps, under different flags with different ideologies. That way they will win, whilst you are hating and dividing and being conquered. It is time to wake up, take action and tell your elected representatives to go fuck themselves. Switch off the tell-a-lie-vision, stop buying newspapers and those dreadful magazines and do something positive, take back control and boot out the likes of Johnson and Biden, remembering to get rid of their hangers on at the same time. Johnson does not know his arse from his elbow, he bluffs and blusters to make himself more charming. He is a stinking sociopath and an idiot to boot. Biden, from my experience of working in care, looks like he has Alzheimers or at least the beginnings of, just like Ronald Reagan. Who barely knew one thing from another at the beginning of his presidency, let alone at the end of it.

What else? I mowed the lawn yesterday and went over my mates allotment and dug over the land to prepare it for future productivity. I have also been job hunting like a man possessed and as a result am fed up to the back teeth of filling in application forms and going to interviews. Though I imagine, there might be a bit more before I find a new place to earn my bread. It is either work or winning the lottery, maybe a combination of both. I would still work, just on my own stuff. University is starting back soon and I am looking forward to that.

lying dogs and scum

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I recently got back from a weeks holiday in Woolacombe North Devon. We camped in a field, where it smelt of sewage. Essentially our camp site was fit for refugee’s and many have probably seen a lot better. Like old army barracks, which at least have a roof on them and four walls around. I lived in similar dwellings as an army cadet, it was all part of the adventure you know. Never once did any of complain, life at an English public school saw to that. It was almost luxury in comparison. That these people come here on their rafts, then have the audacity to complain about their accommodation, tells me one thing. They ought to all piss off back over the channel and and go back to where they came from. We have a homeless problem in this country and these idiots want a home? I will show them where home is and pint them in the right direction too.

This countries govt. are a bunch of self serving, spit licking liars and thieves. Hypocritical in the extreme, their actions make sensible, decent people want to vomit. P.M. Johnson was the pig that His predecessor was alleged to have fornicated with. I bet he squealed numerous times that day. I wonder if they passed him around between themselves, at that party. Can anybody who reads this blog, tell me their countries govt. are not a bunch of crooks? Some of them are even murderers. They just get other people to kill off their opponents, to ensure they stay in power remains unchecked. saying that Vladimir Putin makes a far better political leader than dear Boris. Maybe that is why outlets like the Bilderberg broadcasting Corporation, forget to mention Russia in the news these days. Just endless shit about the fashionable disease instead.

I HAVE NOT HAD THE VACCINE, NOT BECAUSE I DO NOT THINK VACCINES WORK. I HAVE HAD YELLOW FEVER, TYPHOID AND NUMEROUS OTHERS IN MY LIFE. I SIMPLY DO NOT TRUST OR BELIEVE THE GOVERNMENT.

Too many lies have been uttered by these people, too many greedy drug companies. Too much F.E.A.R false events appearing real. Study history and read what Dr. Goebbels said about the big lie. Ask yourselves, why is it called the Government. GOVERN: control , MENT: from the word mental: The Mind. The same reason why we have Parliaments, they speak to the mind parlez: from the French ‘to speak’

Other news: It is overly warm here at the moment, it is not being caused by global warming. But drink plenty of fresh water anyway and do not spend too long baking yourself out there. A little but often is way better, than too much for too long. Do not worry about the sun screen, wear a T shirt, the suns rays will happily penetrate that, giving you a healthy dose of Vitamin D whilst you are going about your business. Go out, enjoy the sun and fart in the direction of your countries government. I will be.,

Second and third fingers held aloft, nails to the front.

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So as an unemployed person, I thought I had better do something to employ myself. By that I mean make myself useful, do things that are profitable and generally get my finger out of my bum. If this list is too ambitious, then at least to be productive and creative. Why all this thinking? Well the Job centre want to speak to me next week, about what, I have no idea. But it is a good thing to at least, be prepared. With excuses, reasons and a few other tried and tested means of getting things to move along nice and smoothly, Happily the JC know my work record and could even help me find a decent work position. I am not going to work in any damned shop, kitchen or other type place. I dislike retail and its attendant bastard children with a passion and it is totally pointless doing anything that just pisses you (Or me) off. I do not wish to sacrifice my mental well being working to make some other bastard wealthy. What good will that do? Well for them marvels I am sure, for me marvels again, but in the other direction. Happily my work record, leaves a little bit to be desired with 70+ employers to my credit since leaving school. Yes that’s right 70 of them. I have absolutely no desire to waste my time looking for and then enduring more nonsense, it does no good to anyone, least of all myself.

It would be very handy if the JC could provide decent and up to date information on self employment and that kind of thing. The trouble is of course , it is like wringing blood out of a stone. The stone will yield in the end, but is it worthwhile? If there is an employer who accepts men who wear skirts to work, then count me in. If there is such an employer who accepts skirt wearing men, who want to be addressed as Jessica, even better. Ideally not having to speak to too many people and having a quiet cubicle to work from, a decent salary/rate per hour, a nice employer and or manager. Not much to ask for I know, but still quite a lot. In all honesty, In all honesty, my employment record has given me all the skills to work for myself. I simply have to pull my finger out and do the working bit. Write, play with and improve web sites, Paint and repeat. Social media has to be employed a little bit more, even if I do detest it. I detest working for other people even more, so choosing the lesser of the two evils only makes sense.

Anyway, other news now. Todays weather is variable, intermittent sunshine and rain about 18 degrees c. It should be warming up again in the next couple of days. Otherwise things are pretty stable, my MH is balanced, there is plenty going on and to look forward to and the sky is blue. I would hazard a guess and say the birds are singing as well. All in all it is a good day and I think a quite productive one. It means I can be at peace in my mind. I think with a little restraint and common sense, I can be at peace with my bank account as well. At the same time as being smart with my time and money, it is important to think. Why do we deny ourselves pleasure, what is it that prevents us from enjoying those simple things that cost little and give the most? Things like decent healthy food, love, a long lasting, healthy relationship, peace of mind.

As I enter the fifth decade of my life, I value the simpler things the universe brings, than I do complexity and BS. The BS can go to hell along with all those who peddle the stuff, be it stinking or otherwise.

Pig F*cking Prime ministers

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The last few weeks, have been somewhat busy. With a lot of that time being spent with people I have not seen in a long while. A lot of that time, has been spent outside, in the garden. Chilling, relaxing and watching the fire burn. The flames dance and where the sparks are going to land. The rest of it has been spent sat on the terrace chatting, chilling and having an easy time together. Unfortunately our neighbours have a diabolically shit taste in music, That is if you can call it music. I think noise is probably more accurate and that noise is repetitive, toneless and makes one feel ill. ideally I would like to destroy the machine, that plays this stuff and the adverts that come with it. Yes adverts as well, FFS I worked in advertising for long enough. I do not need more of that stuff.

Does anybody really, truly believe that our dear leader has his hands on the reins, that he knows what is going on and which direction his horse is travelling? Does anybody else think, he was the pig that got fucked by David Cameron, and that he was passed around like at a children’s party. Pass the Piggy, instead of pass the parcel, sorry arsehole. He is currently in Cornwall at a G& summit, stuffing his fat Old Etonian face on Caviar, I sincerely hope he chokes on the stuff, it will do him and the rest of the world some serious good if he does. I do not like this new WP layout, it makes it all too easy to delete stuff and retrieving it, is nigh on impossible. The old version, though clumsy at times, was navigable and easy to use.

What else is there, that can be written about and possibly cause some kind of offence? Taking the knee at football matches, the pity is I do not watch football, it is excruciatingly boring and comprised of idiots who can barely sign their names, getting paid too much for doing so and with shite awful taste in everything. Does anyone actually give a toss about those bloody WAGS, that follow them around? Just why are people so obsessed with reality Television and celebrities? Somebody please tell me why, before this thing I am using decides to delete stuff again.

I suppose posting pornographic stories on here may not go down so well. So I shall have to put them elsewhere.

Today

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So today and the last few days. I have been completing my exams for this year and am now doing other stuff. Today I bought six Goldfish and put them into the pond. They seem happy enough, they interesting viewing. There are four who stay together in a bunch. One appears to be very brave and goes exploring ahead The last one hides somewhere. I got a big sack of manure and fed the roses and generally did stuff around the garden. A few days ago I was being careless and not looking what I was doing, or for that matter. Not looking where I was going , or putting my feet. The ground/grass gave way and I fell into the pond. Receiving a big scratch on my back for my efforts. The water was cold, it gave a nasty shock and the lawnmower was lucky not to join me.

We have several bird families living in the garden. Blackbirds, Blue tits. Pigeons and magpies come regularly. I think the cats may find it frustrating, But they are not allowed to catch birds. Or at least that is the rule. Fox is much better than he was, he stays at home more now. What else? the terrace, kitchen and back room hall all been scrubbed clean and are gleaming. Thank you D, your help is much appreciated, as is your company. There is probably plenty more to write about, I am not going to do it now. maybe later or elsewhere.

HAVING A CLEAROUT

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So today and probably the next couple of days, I shall be kicking out a load of old artwork. Stuff that I either think is terrible or has simply been here long enough. I want to gain some space back, clear out old energy and establish anew. If you want any of it, then best advice is check a charity shop in Oxford and you may well just find something, alternately you can check through the website and lay claim by mailing me or leaving a comment.

AN UPDATE ON THE PREVIOUS ARTICLE.

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So despite the wound clearing up, the vet giving the all clear and all the rest of that jazz. Things opened up again and a great load of green gack oozed out of what was a nicely scabbed over and clearing up sore patch. It looked like a gigantic green slug, minus the horns, though I would not be surprised to see a pair of them in the future. Too say I am at my wits end would be an understatement. I would be pulling my hair out, if I thought it would do any good and I alcohol would be a proper waste of time… We have a vet appointment this afternoon and I am kind of taking a tight grip on reality right now. Is it time to let him go, or does he stay. If this injury was mine, size for size, I would be moaning like a bitch. The cat, Mr fox is more stoical than that, though he does growl a bit at the moment and looks rather sulky. I do have to remember the vet warned me that wounds of this nature, can be a sod to heal, I would be a stupid sod to argue otherwise.

So that’s that off of my chest, do I feel better for offloading like that? No not really, but it might help a little bit at some point. I admit i busted into tears a short while ago at the prospect of loosing the little man. But you know something, change is inevitable, irresistible and inevitable. There is no stopping it or controlling when that change will happen. so it is pointless resisting the inevitable awfulness of what must happen. It has to be embraced and acknowledged. I do not think I could do the job of a vet. I am not brave or kind enough for such stuff. I think it would kill me, or me myself. then what use would I be. Nothing.

In the meantime, I am waiting for the lawn to dry out as I want to mow it. Trimming the hedge would also be a welcome distraction. In the meantime i think I shall paint a Toadstool, or at least part of a toadstool. I dislike doing things with electricity in the wet and damp. Do I need to explain why? As for everything else, I am lucky to have J listening at the other end of the line and other good friends around me who will lend a supporting ear or whatever other part of their anatomy is available. I think shoulders are quite popular at this sort of time. A friend of mine once said in times of darkness think of light, think of love and of life. Right now that is actually easy, but not that easy. It fact it is turning out to be fucking hard. My head feels like it is full of I don’t know what. I can feel my temper flaring just that little bit more than it needs to. Could it be I am a little bit stressed right now?