So despite the wound clearing up, the vet giving the all clear and all the rest of that jazz. Things opened up again and a great load of green gack oozed out of what was a nicely scabbed over and clearing up sore patch. It looked like a gigantic green slug, minus the horns, though I would not be surprised to see a pair of them in the future. Too say I am at my wits end would be an understatement. I would be pulling my hair out, if I thought it would do any good and I alcohol would be a proper waste of time… We have a vet appointment this afternoon and I am kind of taking a tight grip on reality right now. Is it time to let him go, or does he stay. If this injury was mine, size for size, I would be moaning like a bitch. The cat, Mr fox is more stoical than that, though he does growl a bit at the moment and looks rather sulky. I do have to remember the vet warned me that wounds of this nature, can be a sod to heal, I would be a stupid sod to argue otherwise.
So that’s that off of my chest, do I feel better for offloading like that? No not really, but it might help a little bit at some point. I admit i busted into tears a short while ago at the prospect of loosing the little man. But you know something, change is inevitable, irresistible and inevitable. There is no stopping it or controlling when that change will happen. so it is pointless resisting the inevitable awfulness of what must happen. It has to be embraced and acknowledged. I do not think I could do the job of a vet. I am not brave or kind enough for such stuff. I think it would kill me, or me myself. then what use would I be. Nothing.
In the meantime, I am waiting for the lawn to dry out as I want to mow it. Trimming the hedge would also be a welcome distraction. In the meantime i think I shall paint a Toadstool, or at least part of a toadstool. I dislike doing things with electricity in the wet and damp. Do I need to explain why? As for everything else, I am lucky to have J listening at the other end of the line and other good friends around me who will lend a supporting ear or whatever other part of their anatomy is available. I think shoulders are quite popular at this sort of time. A friend of mine once said in times of darkness think of light, think of love and of life. Right now that is actually easy, but not that easy. It fact it is turning out to be fucking hard. My head feels like it is full of I don’t know what. I can feel my temper flaring just that little bit more than it needs to. Could it be I am a little bit stressed right now?
So J went back to the US back on the 12th and the day before that the cat took sick. Happily the cat is well on the road to recovery, Jackie has got a permanent residence and the vet bills required me to change my plans for the month and spend the lot on Mr. Fox ( The cat) I have never been happier to spend so much on anyone in my entire life. he had an abscess, that was pressing on his spine and must have been causing excruciating amounts of discomfort. Long story short, the thing burst, closed up, reopened and oozed lots of thick green ‘snot’. The secondary infection was due to his getting outside and going on an all-nighter. Operation, stitches and being indoors is probably getting him by now, especially as the weather is nice again. I take him out a few times a day, making sure to hold him and prevent any mad dash for freedom he may make. Though what with a cone/collar thing on I doubt he will get too far.
J and I are now simply friends, we have different priorities to each other and we each must steer our own course. It is no good us being in the same ship anymore. I imagine our paths will cross again in the future. Though I imagine not least until the Covid business has cleared off and we are given something new to worry ourselves over. What else? Oh yes I have run out of weed. Years ago this would have caused a huge amount of distraction and concern. Today I could not care less and shall enjoy cleaning my act up a little bit. Smoking fogged my mind and did not allow for clear thinking, which hindered study, which caused anxiety issues neither of which I currently need. My painting has resumed, new ideas are flourishing and I am happy.
I hope to be getting back onto the blog more often now things have calmed down a little bit. I also want to be working on the website and promoting my work a little bit more. I shall also be applying for some kind of employment soon. Something simple, stress free and enjoyable. I do not think it will involve wearing a tie. It may allow me to get away with wearing a skirt, being more relaxed and informal.
I really wanted to write about porn, sex and jiggy jiggy today, but The Irish Land War sounds far more interesting. It entices, and cries out with its ecstatic moans of equality, absentee landlords and land clearances. The enticing images of evictions and people living in hedges, because their homes have been torn down. Draw me away from staring at bosoms, busts and butt cheeks. Blood engorged labia and swollen, moist Vulvae do not interest me a jot, I want to read about the Irish Land League and their fights with Parliament and Mr. Gladstone. It is usual to find one has a greater amount of interest in one topic than another one. There is nothing interesting in watching paint dry, but there is, in choosing the paint you wish to use, is it suitable for the area, you are decorating? There are a whole bunch of over factors you may wish to take into Consideration. And it is important to make the right decisions based on sound judgement and acquired knowledge.
Why choose the rightly justified arguments of The Irish over porn? That way, I can get ahead in my studies and not put myself under any undue pressure. As a result of these actions, I now have the introduction complete. It means I shall be starting to write about porn. (in greater detail) on another channel, where I do feel the need to mention grain prices in late Nineteenth century Ireland. I would tell you, but the information is not directly to hand. Anyway I am watching a movie in between takes on writing this.
Finally writing articles directly into wordpress can see stuff getting lost forever. I am now starting to write more in a Word Processor instead, then copy and paste it later. It also means I have an automatic backup of all my work. I do currently run another site here, it is mainly about art and creativity. |Sometimes like this one, it can delve into gardening and not come out for a couple of days. It also features quite a lot more art there. I shall be writing more on The Irish Land War and other subjects, with luck, they will become available online here and in other places as appropriate. It will encourage me to write and improve my PC skills too.
The last few days have been spent digging up bits of the garden, planting stuff and making a couple of bonfires in the wheel barrow. I have also been drinking too much and am now paying the consequences for my actions. The garden is helping and so is abstinence, which is much easier when you do not have outside influences urging you to go and buy the stuff. To be honest, the stuff does not work the way I want it to anymore and it is clear I need a big long break from the stuff.
That I am happy will become all the easier in the next couple of weeks. The other influences will be gone and I can focus full time on the mending process. The last few months, have been a bit on the stressful side, for both of us and if there is anything I have learnt. It is that I prefer my own company (cats excluded) and am not entirely enamoured, with sharing my home, with other members of the human race. This may sound an awful thing to say, but it is true, denying it would be foolish and only cause more trouble.
I shall enjoy having the house back to myself, there is no doubt in that. I have plenty to keep me busy and the cats are always there to ignore me if things get rough. In the meantime, we are planning a few days out and making use of, the time we have left together. The grey cat, cornered our youngest today, resulting in a lot of squalling. I am aiming to settle that creatures hash, at the nearest opportunity, my reason? It pisses on my flower beds and upsets the children.
Whilst in the midst of not looking for work. (Something I am not very good at) and studying (which needs improvement) I have been dropping by garden centres and the like and getting things in the ground for the new season. Other than that, contemplating empty hanging baskets and mending the cat, not much has taken place. Now the weather is nice, I am spending a bit more time out on the bicycle. I need the fresh air, space and exercise, it helps clear out my chest and lungs to. You see there is or at least was some unwanted matter there. It’s not the Covid, probably more just dust and stuff. Anyway I felt a lot better for my ride out into town the other day. Spring time being here, it is probably a good time to get out, and taking more fresh air, getting fit again.
I was going to write about a foul medical doc. I watched the other evening. Happily it has been lost forever, instead I shall write about something else. Not gardening though, every other thing on this page must look like it is to do with gardening. It just seems more interesting than house work and clearing up behind the Children. (Cats) Trust me, there is nothing exciting about what those wretched animals do or leave behind, expecting someone else to clean up behind them. They are lazy, demanding and for two of them… Vocal. However I would not swap them for anything, and they will always come first. What else is there,? Not much to be honest, it has been a remarkably uneventful few days here. Most of my time has been spent gardening, studying and or painting. The rest of it, well day dreaming and that kind of thing. Not worrying my head if I do not need to and spending more time in the here and now than previously.
It is high time, I checked to see if the Stylus has arrived, after that I am going to do some more school work and read about the deprivation in London in the late Nineteenth century.
Today is going to be spent doing a few things around the place. I have a pond to measure up, a course of lessons on Russian history to put together and I may well go for a cycle ride and get me a bottle of Stout. It is St. Patricks day after all and being a good Irishman it would be rude not to. otherwise things here are going pretty good, met a couple of friends I have not seen in a while yesterday. in one case around fifteen years, they have not changed a bit. It is gladdening to see these recent travails what with the Convid have not affected them. Everybody is still bright eyed and bushy tailed and still possessed of their usual good humour. The old pond has found a new home and I have been asked to lend some gardening advice, which is great cause as I have a glut of tomato’s and other plants coming on.
After writing this, I am going to go do a bit of gardening and burn off some excess energy being creative and all that. I also feel like going to the garden centre, but you know something, these are dangerous places if you have a bank card with you. It is probably easier just to do some tidying up instead and make the place look nice. In due course, I shall be looking at getting some fish for the pond and work on creating a bog garden of some sort, if it is at all practicable. The idea of Newts, Frogs and creatures of a similar ilk pleases me immensely and having them in the garden even more so.
What else? Oh yes of course, I am celebrating today, not because it is St. Patricks day, but because I am single man again. Even better I shall soon have the house back to myself and even though that may sound a little selfish, it will be most liberating. The idea of being able to do my own thing at whatever time and making as much noise as I want cheers me immensely. Firstly I must start watching my eating habits, and dealing with stress more effectively, the first is easy, the second just as so. It is simply a matter of acknowledging the causes and then dealing with them in an effective and timely manner. The weather looks a little overcast and I currently have a cat sat over on my shoulders. It is a long time since he last sat here and he is a great comfort.
Whilst the sun shines outside, I am compelled to read and to write on the Industrial decline in the late 19th century, compared to the bit about Empire, it is a little tedious, dealing more with figures than massacres and competition from foreigners more than foreigner bashing. Oh how this countries imperial past has faded. To be honest it was never particularly radiant to begin with, with most of our crowned heads having been despotic sociopathic idiots. Just like our elected politicians, who are dishonest at best and bloody liars at their worst. The trouble is people actually believe them, then vote for the wretches every four/five years, thinking stuff will change. Does a leopard change his spots? Neither does the government.
It is a howling gale outside today, but the sun is shining and that is good. It makes a vast improvement on yesterdays dam grey stuff. When the weather is nice, I like to get out and plant things, today it was the turn of the Hyacinths. I really want to plant those things from the greenhouse, I also want to chop back the hedge. I chopped some hedge and it started to rain and rather than get the electrics wet, I put everything away again. Gardening is an enjoyable activity at any time, the opportunities for creativity are almost boundless.
J has had a nagging migraine all day today and probably last night as well. I am lucky, I have never had one of these things. Whilst she has been resting up I have been writing my resumé and pulling the HiFi system out of the attic, the next task will be to start pulling out furniture, playing around with wires and cables and setting it all up. Hopefully I can eliminate the howl from the record deck this time.
Like many people I failed to see the interview with the ex prince (neither of his parents are ginger) and his Mrs. last night. This is not because I do not have a television, I just did not give a toss and had better stuff to do. Elsewhere some person dropped a gaffe and made a joke about a TV/TS people, dropping herself in the brown stuff at the same time. To save her wretched arse and her legions of fans, (probably) She wrote a long grovelling letter of apology that would not have looked out of place, from a politician after having been caught shagging his secretary. Finally and praise the lord indeed, Piers Morgan, has left his job, actually his presence on TV never bothered me cause I do not watch TV.
So what has happened these last days? I got my assignment back from uni. (Happy) and have bought a hedge cutting machine. (fun) The warm weather and sunshine have brought out the gardener in me and the joy of putting seeds into pots and weeding flower beds has been rekindled. The hazards of making bonfires in wheel barrows shall be recalled in the next couple of days or so. Then … Who knows? probably school work to be honest, then something else. I am just glad, that I have better things to occupy my mind than buying newspapers and listening to the incessant noise of the TV box. Which makes me ask another question, Just what is this obsession people have with celebrities?
I should like to write more on this sub species of Homo Sapiens at a later date, right now I have some rubbish to put in the bin.
So a few days ago, I managed to throw my back out. Resulting in excruciating discomfort, having to go through long, complex rituals in trying to stand up and groaning like someone in a sexual ecstasy. if only! having spoken to my physiotherapist. ( My Mum) I have been advised, that I have most likely got a trapped nerve and that is why it feels like my backside is falling off. The treatment is application of frozen peas or an icepack, to lessen the inflammation and trying not to do to much, in terms of physical work, for the next few days. I am also inclined to think that breathing in to sharply or deep, sneezing, coughing and several other things are also to be avoided. They can all cause the most intense paroxysm’s of pain, the novelty of which wore off pretty quickly. Apart from that, my right tricep and left knee do not like me, I know this because they protest, when I want them to do anything. J has been a great help and has inadvertently become my carer, helping me out of chairs and stuff. Thank Dog I can still wipe my own backside, I would not wish to visit that task upon anyone.
That aside, things are pretty good around here. The kitchen is now gleaming and spotlessly clean, Thank you J. There are some things starting to grow in the green house, though we may well bring them in where it is warmer for a few days. What else? not much to be honest, things have been rather quiet around here these last few days apart from of course the groans of ‘ecstasy’ that punctuate the day. I shall taking things easy today and relaxing a bit more than I usually do. I may even do a little bit of job searching, or should I concentrate on my own business affairs first?
Whatever you are doing, don’t attempt to touch your toes, whilst bending bending down with your legs straight, though a good demonstration of flexibility, it is a rotten idea, as are lateral stretches. These are probably the things that messed me up. Don’t kneel on hard surfaces, unless you have a soft thing for your knees to rest upon. Finally drink plenty of water and don’t worry yourself about those things, that are out of your control, it will only give you upset bowels.
My plans for sitting in the grounds of a hospital reading my book, whilst the other person was having their appointment came to naught yesterday, I had left the book behind. Instead I walked around and sat on a bench and watched the rain instead. The weather was kind of in parallel with, what has been going in these last few days/couple of weeks, so I went and sat in the car and found a game on my phone instead. The game was actually rather fun and I put it down, just as the nurse came to look for me, for the second half of the appointment. It was still raining and it was warm inside the building, so much that I would have opened the windows and turned the heating down. Instead I took my jacket off and thought dark thoughts, about the wretched face mask I am obliged to wear to guard against the fashionable disease. Getting outside and back into the fresh air was nice, and we went off to pick up the prescription.
We have had a conversation this morning and agreed, that crutches can be useful, and when the owner snatches the instrument away it leaves the user in the dirt. The owner I am speaking about, knows who he is and ought go take a long hard look in the mirror. He is bang out of order and deserves a kick in the backside. Hopefully that is the last that is going to mentioned on this particular subject, here or anywhere. Talking about the weather seems to be a better and far more interesting subject matter. If you are curious wheat it is doing outside, it is grey and about 7degrees C Saturday promises to be better or at least warmer and ideal for doing some gardening. I may chase J around the house and out the door, get her to haul logs and rocks and dig holes, but we shall see.
Other news, There is no other news, certainly nothing worth writing about here. Perhaps I shall go do some school work and relax a little bit whilst doing so. Fussing the cat is also an option, worrying myself about stuff that is out of my control…Never, I do not get paid enough to do that and it does not achieve anything either. Painting is also looking good and is enjoyable also, not that it pays at the moment, but it will…very soon. Writing my book(s), web sites and the like are also raising their little heads and crying out for attention. But you know what? school work and a bite to eat are also a good idea.